


Listen As We Go

by sunshinexbomb



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-16
Updated: 2013-06-16
Packaged: 2017-12-15 05:32:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/845882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinexbomb/pseuds/sunshinexbomb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What would people think?”</p><p>“What would people think of what?” Louis asks.</p><p>Zayn opens his eyes to glance at Louis’ confused expression. “Of the CEO of Malik Developments going out with an eighteen year old kid?”</p><p>AKA in which Zayn is a young CEO, Liam is his college boyfriend, and it’s all a big secret even though they both wish it wasn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Listen As We Go

**Author's Note:**

> This story has literally taken me _months_ to write and I'm really happy with how it turned out! It's the longest thing I've ever written for any fandom ever, so I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Based loosely sort of not really at all on [these](http://theycallitbullshit.tumblr.com/post/45003478624/zayn-is-a-young-successful-23-year-old-business) tags.
> 
> Anyone who picks on all the references made to _The OC_ will receive lots of hugs because it's the only thing I have to offer.
> 
> This is completely 100% made up in my mind and did not really happen. One Direction do not belong to me, though I wish they did. Title is from "California" by Phantom Planet.

  
Living in California, Zayn’s gotten used to the imminent possibility that one day an earthquake will strike, bringing down his multi-million dollar apartment development like a house of cards. Louis thinks he’s paranoid, but there’s nothing wrong with having an Earthquake Emergency Preparation Kit just in case. Anything can happen.   
    
The thing is though, Zayn’s not expecting an earthquake to hit when he’s dead asleep, so when he awakens to his apartment shaking one morning, he’s not thinking about his Emergency Preparation Kit. Really he’s just thinking that he’s going to die, that the roof is going to cave in and he’s going be smothered under a pile of rubble in an apartment building he helped design.   
    
“Zayn. Zayn! God dammit, Zayn, wake up! We’re gonna be late.” Late? Late for what? His near-approaching death? That’s something he doesn’t really mind being late too. Actually, he’d honestly rather postpone that as long as possible.   
    
Zayn flails out a little, arm connecting with something heavy and solid at his side. There’s a soft “Oof!” before the shaking stops, and Zayn opens his eyes to see Louis next to his bed, rubbing his stomach where Zayn must’ve hit him.   
    
“Shit. Sorry, Lou. What’s going on? I thought there was an earthquake or something,” Zayn says, yawning and trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes.   
    
“An earthquake’s going to be the least of your worries if you don’t get your ass out of bed right now. We have that big meeting with the Newport Group today, remember? Possible merger? Sort of important that we be there,” Louis glares.   
    
Louis starts physically pulling Zayn out of bed until the words finally sink into his sleep-clouded mind and then – shit. Fuck. _Fucking shit_. Zayn’s scrambling out of bed, all thoughts of sleep wiped clear from his mind as he hurries towards the bathroom. “The meeting, oh my God. Why didn’t you wake me up sooner!”   
    
He’s not sure, but he thinks he hears Louis say something like, “I fucking tried. Waking you is like waking the dead,” but it’s not important because Zayn has the biggest meeting of his life right now and he cannot possibly under any circumstances be late. Come hell, high water, or fucking imminent earthquakes, he needs to be there for that meeting.   
    
\--   
    
Zayn gets ready in record time, showering, fixing his hair, and slipping into his work clothes (crisp white button-up, black tie, perfectly fitted black trousers tailored just for him) in just under twelve minutes and thirty seconds. They’re out the door in thirteen minutes flat and fourteen minutes after what he thought was a near-death experience, Zayn and Louis are on the road, heading to the main office of Malik Developments.   
    
Once they’re in the car and Louis’ assured him that they won’t be late, Zayn’s heart starts beating at a regular pace again. His usual morning tiredness catches up to him and he presses his forehead to the cool glass of the window, trying to soothe his aching temples. He needs coffee. Desperately.   
    
“We have just enough time for a coffee run,” Louis says from the driver’s seat, as if reading Zayn’s mind.   
    
“Yes, please.”   
    
Louis laughs, and Zayn curses him for having so much energy in the morning. He doesn’t understand how Louis does it. It’s not natural, especially considering he must not have gotten more than three or four hours of sleep the last night. They’d spent most of the night checking and rechecking the facts and figures for the merger they’re discussing today with the Newport Group, their leading competition in the development industry. If all goes well, Zayn could become co-CEO of the biggest development firm in all of Newport Beach, California. If things don’t go as planned, well at least he’ll still be CEO of Malik Developments.   
    
It’s quite possible that Zayn dozes off during the short drive to their usual coffee shop because the next thing he knows, the car’s coming to a stop and Louis is cursing next to him.   
    
“Shit, I think it’s closed,” Louis says, squinting at the door to the small café they usually go to before work.   
    
“ _No_ ,” Zayn moans, “Louis. Coffee.”   
    
“I think there’s a Starbucks just –”   
    
“Definitely not,” Zayn interrupts immediately. He never goes to Starbucks if he can help it. Stupid overpriced drinks and confusing Italian beverage sizes. Nope, he’d rather go the day without caffeine.   
    
Louis rolls his eyes. “It was one bad business proposition, Zayn. You’re really just making our lives harder by implementing this ban.”   
    
“No.”   
    
“Fine,” Louis sighs. “I think there’s a small coffee place that opened near the office. Nick mentioned it the other day, said it’s definitely worth checking out. Is that okay?”   
    
“Yes. Coffee. Good,” Zayn smiles, closing his eyes again as the car starts up underneath him. “Maybe I’ll get a muffin or something too. I’m starving. I feel like we haven’t eaten in ages.”   
    
“Should probably lay off the muffins, Malik,” Louis laughs, reaching over to poke Zayn in the stomach. “You’re not eighteen anymore. Can’t just eat whatever you want.”   
    
“I’ll do whatever I damn please,” Zayn scoffs, opening his eyes just to send a glare in Louis’ direction. Twenty-three is definitely not too old to stop eating what he wants. No reason to restrict himself so soon.   
    
“You always do,” Louis says, smiling a bit fondly at Zayn.   
    
Zayn grins back at him, and not for the first time, he’s grateful to have Louis in his life. Louis who he met his very first day at UCLA and has stuck by his side since then. Louis who got the same internship as Zayn at Malik Developments, not through connections but through actual skill and hard work and a sheer determination to be the best. Louis who’s helped Zayn climb the ranks and push aside anyone who stood in their way to the top. Louis, his CFO and, more importantly, his best friend and partner in crime (Louis sometimes calls them “soul mates” but Zayn thinks that’s pushing it a bit).   
    
It doesn’t take too long to reach the coffee shop that Louis wants to try out. It’s just a street down from their office, but it looks horribly out of place among the posh shops and office buildings surrounding it.   
    
The one table outside is leaning to the side and the two spindly chairs around it look like they aren’t even strong enough to hold Zayn’s small frame. It’s not much better on the inside. The furniture is a mix of pieces that look like they were bought at a thrift store and eclectic paintings line the walls, giving the place a very busy feel. But it’s warm and clean and the smell of freshly brewed coffee is wafting through the air and that’s good enough for Zayn.   
    
“Nick would like a place like this,” Louis laughs, looking around him in delight. Zayn’s known Louis long enough to tell that he’s already fallen in love with the place a bit, which is no surprise really. The organized chaos of the place is perfect for Louis in every way.   
    
It’s not very busy, even though most other places would be suffering from their morning rush. There’s only a couple of people in line and one young barista with short curly hair and soft, friendly brown eyes that reminds Zayn of the puppy his family got for Christmas one year.   
    
“I’m surprised you haven’t –” Louis starts, but he’s interrupted by a buzzing in Zayn’s pocket, “ah, never mind. Spoke too soon.”   
    
Zayn frowns, pulling out his phone. There are days he really wishes he could take the thing and just chuck it out the window. The constant text messages and phone calls and emails from the office are going to be the death of him. Sometimes he sees worry lines when he looks in the mirror and he knows for sure that he’s too young for that.   
    
He’s got a few messages from Danny about a meeting next week and emails from Nick about future marketing strategies. Something about a starting a magazine to rival the Newport Group’s monthly, _Newport Living_. It’s an interesting idea, but will probably be obsolete if the merger goes through.   
    
When it’s their turn to order, Zayn’s still shifting through messages on his phone, trying to get up to date on everything before they get into the office.   
    
“Hi, what can I get you?”   
    
“Well, _Liam_ ,” and Zayn is sure Louis is doing that thing where he leans in uncomfortably close to read the barista’s nametag, “I will have one medium hazelnut coffee, regular cream and sugar, and another medium coffee, black, regular sugar.”   
    
Zayn elbows Louis pointedly, not looking up from where he’s typing a quick reply to Danny.   
    
“And one of those tasty-looking apple cinnamon muffins for my tubby friend here,” Louis adds and Zayn can practically _hear_ the smirk on his stupid smug face.   
    
“Excuse me,” Zayn snaps, finally looking up from his phone, “I am not _tubby_ you pile of blubber.”   
    
“Pile of blubber? That’s the worst you can do, Mr. I-Minored-In-English?”   
    
“No, do you want to see the worst I can do, Drama Geek?”   
    
The barista ( _Liam_ , Zayn reminds himself) is giggling – actual honest to God _giggling_ – at them, eyes crinkled at the side and cheeks a bit pink. It’s sort of adorable really, the way his eyes almost disappear and his face lights up like Louis and Zayn are the funniest thing he’s ever seen.   
    
“Okay, boys,” Liam says through his laughter, “I think it’s time to break it up. No fighting in my coffee shop.”   
    
As Liam gets their drinks ready, Zayn sticks his tongue out at Louis, not caring that it’s just a bit immature of him. Louis flips him the bird in return.   
    
Service is quick, and Liam comes back fast with their coffee. As he’s taking a muffin out from behind the glass display and ringing everything up, Zayn squints at the bottom of his coffee cup. There’s a little doodle there of a stick figure with a protruding belly and Zayn’s signature quiff.   
    
“Is that supposed to me?” Zayn frowns. Liam just looks at him and winks, blushing just a tad bit again.   
    
“Looks just like you,” Louis cackles, catching sight of the drawing. “Beautiful, really.”   
    
Zayn’s about to comment but instead he can’t hold back a burst of laughter that comes forth when his eyes land on a similar drawing on Louis’ cup. The stick figure Louis is really just a round belly with small half circles for his head, feet, and legs.  “Not nearly as good as yours. Now that is a piece of art.”   
    
“I look nothing like that!” Louis exclaims, clearly affronted. “I take back what I said. You’re a terrible artist, Mr. Liam.”   
    
Liam giggles again and Zayn finds that he rather likes the sound. It’s light and soft but something about it travels through Zayn and makes him feel relaxed and happy. “I’m sorry,” he says, not looking sorry at all, “just for that, you can have the muffin for free.”   
    
“No amount of free muffins will make up for this mockery,” Louis huffs, turning around with his drink in hand. Zayn rolls his eyes because Louis may be joking around, but he’s still being way overdramatic about the whole thing.   
    
“I can pay for the muffin,” Zayn laughs, handing over a few extra bills to cover the cost.   
    
“No, really, it’s okay,” Liam smiles. “I’m not really supposed to give out free food, but I can make exceptions for cute, tubby boys and their amusing friends.” He winks again, pushing the muffin and cash back towards Zayn.   
    
Zayn’s the one blushing this time and he can’t explain the heat rising to his face. He’s twenty-three years old, damn it. He’s been with a decent amount of guys and girls and there’s no reason a boy, who can’t be more than eighteen or nineteen, should make him pink-faced and giddy like he’s that age again also.   
    
“Thanks,” Zayn mumbles abashedly.   
    
“No problem. Come back soon,” Liam grins.   
    
Zayn shoots him one last smile and follows after Louis who’s waiting impatiently by the door. He really, really hopes that they’re not going to be late for their meeting.   
    
\--   
    
The members of the Newport Group are leaving the conference room, and Zayn waits for the last intern to walk out the door before he lets out a loud groan, banging his head down on the table. It’s not really the best of ideas. Turns out that solid wood is actually sort of hard.   
    
“That was a disaster,” Zayn moans, words muffled only slightly by the table.   
    
Louis runs his fingers through Zayn’s hair consolingly. “It wasn’t that bad, Zayn. They didn’t reject the offer. Just said they needed some more time to work things out. There’s still a chance this could all go through.”   
    
“They might as well have rejected it. It’s not going through. I’m a failure. We should’ve gone over the numbers more, Lou. Should’ve changed the presentation a bit. Should’ve offered more. Should’ve done _something_. This is one of the biggest propositions we’ve ever made and I –“   
    
“And you did totally fine,” Louis soothes. “Zayn, it’s okay. You didn’t mess up. If they don’t agree to the merger, it’s not the end of the world. We just continue doing things the way we’ve been doing them.”   
    
There’s a knock on the conference room door, and Zayn lifts his head up just enough to see Nick walk in. Great, more people to witness him during his moment of utter failure.   
    
“Hey, just saw the Newport guys walk out,” Nick says, leaning against the doorframe, “how’d it go? Are we going through with the merger or?”   
    
“They said they need a little more time to work things out. Want to go through a few more options, think things over a bit. They said there’s a definite possibility things will go through though,” Louis explains before Zayn can say a word.   
    
“Doesn’t sound so bad,” Nick says. “Why is Malik having a meltdown?”   
    
“Because I’m a failure,” Zayn manages before Louis can cut him off. “This merger isn’t going to go through. I’m running the company into the ground. Why am I CEO? This was a terrible idea. Why did I ever think I could run a company?”   
    
Zayn and Louis and the rest of the executive board have been working on this merger for months. It’s one of the biggest risks that Malik Developments has ever taken and it’s the first one that Zayn has decided on upon his own after taking over his father’s place as CEO.   
    
As one of the youngest CEO’s in the Newport Beach business world, there’s a lot of pressure riding on Zayn. He’s constantly in the eye of the public, and it’s something he completely and utterly hates. Pressure makes him _nervous_ , which probably isn’t the best quality for a CEO to have, but it’s one he can deal with if he has control and can make things run smoothly. Unfortunately, some things are out of his control and when they get out of hand, he can’t deal with the scrutiny and the whispers and knowing that the first mistake he makes, the whole community will be on him.   
    
He wants to prove his worth, show everyone that he knows what he’s doing and that he deserves this position despite the fact he’s so young. He can’t afford to make any errors.   
    
The Newport Group is the biggest developing firm in the area. Merging with them would benefit both Malik Developments and really the community as a whole. They would have a bit of a monopoly over the industry, but Zayn really thinks it’s the best option. He wants – no he _needs_ – this merger to go through smoothly.   
    
“Um, wow. Okay then,” Nick intones slowly, obviously a bit worried by Zayn’s franticness. Zayn’s usually not like this. In front of the rest of the company he tries to stay calm and level-headed. He doesn’t like people seeing him losing his cool like he is right now. That’s for Louis’ eyes only. “Do you want me to get one of the interns to make a coffee run or something? It seems like you could do with a coffee run.”   
    
Zayn takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He needs to just. Stop. Just for a minute. Let it all go. Louis’ right. It’ll be fine. He’ll be fine. The company will be fine. Fine. Just fine.   
    
“No, it’s okay, I’ll go myself. I need to take a few minutes to clear my head anyway. Do you want me to get you anything, Nick?” Zayn finally answers after he’s pretty sure that the worst of his freak out has died down.   
    
“Large French Vanilla. Regular cream and sugar.”   
    
“Do you want me to go with you?” Louis asks, standing up the same time as Zayn.   
    
“No, it’s fine. I’m good. Just give me some time,” Zayn says with a small smile. Louis nods hesitantly, obviously still not convinced that Zayn is absolutely fine, but he lets him go anyway.   
    
_Fine_ , Zayn repeats in his head, _everything is absolutely positively completely fine_.   
    
\--   
    
Things aren’t fine. In the short walk from his office to the coffee shop him and Louis went to that morning, Zayn’s gone into total breakdown mode. His feelings of failure are starting to creep up again and he’s once again starting to worry that things aren’t going to work out the way he wants to.   
    
By the time he walks through the door, Zayn looks worse for wear. He feels hot and his clothes seem too tight and restricting. Zayn loosens his tie and pushes up the sleeves of his shirt but he still doesn’t feel _comfortable_. He’s wired up in a way that he hasn’t been since he first got promoted and he was sure that every move he made would end in the company coming apart under his fingertips.   
    
Oddly enough, he seems to breathe a little easier once he’s inside. It’s quiet and cool and completely empty except for Liam who’s doodling on a napkin behind the counter. He looks up with a bright smile when he sees Zayn come in, but it slides off quickly after he notices the state he’s in.   
    
“Um, are you okay?” Liam asks hesitantly, eyebrows furrowing furiously making his forehead wrinkle in a way that Zayn would probably find adorable if he wasn’t still trying to remember how to breathe properly.   
    
“Yeah, just uh, give me a second,” Zayn replies, running his hand through his already ruined hair and taking a seat at the nearest table. He rubs at his eyes with the heels of his palm and takes a moment to just try and calm down. Zayn absolutely hates when he gets like this. It’s embarrassing and just a bit scary, but he can’t _help_ it sometimes because he’s always so afraid of fucking things up for himself and everyone else.   
    
Liam doesn’t say anything, but Zayn can hear him moving around behind the counter. He tries to focus on the sounds of Liam bustling about, the clanks and clinks as he does whatever it is he’s doing, instead of the thoughts going through his head.   
    
A few minutes later, there’s the scraping of a chair against the floor and Zayn looks up to see Liam taking a seat in front of him, placing two cups of coffee and an apple cinnamon muffin on the table.   
    
“Medium coffee, black, regular sugar,” Liam says, smiling softly and taking a drink from his own cardboard cup.   
    
Zayn takes a sip and it helps – the warmth and the familiar bittersweet taste of a strong cup of well-brewed coffee. “You remember everyone’s orders?” Zayn asks with a small half-smile that he can’t seem to help.   
    
“I’m actually terrible at remembering orders,” Liam laughs. “Nearly got fired my first week because people kept coming back telling me they got the wrong drink. I remember regulars though and people who catch my attention.”   
    
Zayn tries to hide his growing smile behind another sip of coffee. It’s obvious that Liam is flirting with him, and it really shouldn’t be having this effect on him at all.   
    
“You know, I never did get your name this morning,” Liam says with a curious tilt of his head.   
    
“Well, we can’t all have fancy nametags like yours, now can we? But my name’s Zayn. Zayn Malik,” Zayn replies, running his fingertips over the embossed letters of Liam’s nametag.   
    
“Of Malik Developments?” Liam asks, eyebrows rising significantly as Zayn nods in reply. He gives a loud laugh in surprise. “Aw, man. Niall’s gonna shit himself. He’s completely smitten with you.”   
    
“Excuse me?”   
    
Liam laughs again. “My roommate, Niall. He’s a double major in economics and business and your like, biggest fan or something. Says you’re his hero and that one day he wants to be just like you, CEO of a major company before his twenty-fifth birthday.”   
    
It’s Zayn’s turn to laugh this time because, what? That has to be one of the most ridiculous things he’s ever heard. There’s nothing about him to be a fan of. His success was brought mainly by good luck and good connections and very good judgment from Louis who helped him every step of the way.   
    
“Not really sure if there’s much that makes me a hero,” Zayn says a bit quietly. “Honestly, sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve the position at all.”   
    
And it’s true. It’s something he doesn’t really ever admit to people, not even Louis. There are times when he thinks that his dad made the wrong decision, appointing him CEO. There are so many people who could be doing things better than him.   
    
He’s not really sure why he’s telling Liam this, but there’s something about Liam’s brown eyes and soft smiles that makes him seem earnest and approachable and Zayn finds him very easy to talk to.   
    
“That’s not how Niall tells it,” Liam replies. “He said that you always worked hard, that you got the position _despite_ the fact that your father started the company, not because of it. Seems pretty impressive to me.”   
    
Zayn just shrugs because, yeah, he did work for the job, but it’s not nearly as great Liam makes it sound.   
    
“You know,” Liam continues, “you’re not really what I expected you to be. From the way that Niall talked about you, I expected some geeky guy. Like, glasses, suspenders, pocket protectors, the whole package. Someone more Zuckerberg-esque. And not Jesse Eisenberg as Zuckerberg either. Like. Actual Zuckerberg.” He smiles cheekily, a teasing twinkle in his eyes.   
    
“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint,” Zayn laughs, because, surprisingly enough, it’s not the first time that he’s heard this.   
    
“Not all that disappointed,” Liam says. “More like pleasantly surprised. I meant what I said this morning.”   
    
“About me being tubby? Because I get enough of that from Louis, don’t need it from you too,” Zayn jokes, his cheeks warming a little because he’s pretty sure that’s not what Liam referring to.   
    
“About you being cute,” Liam counters, and Zayn’s face heat up even more hearing the confirmation.   
    
“Well that’s good, because I think you’re pretty cute too.”   
    
The way Liam’s beaming at him really shouldn’t make Zayn feel as giddy as it does.   
    
\--   
    
Their usual coffee shop reopens, but Zayn insists that they keep going to Liam’s. He claims it’s because it’s never crowded and the coffee is excellent but he’s pretty sure Louis sees right through his feeble excuses.   
    
Every morning they’re greeted by Liam’s bright smiles and the freshly brewed drinks he has waiting for them. Sometimes Liam leaves more doodles on the bottoms of their cups and one day he even slips Zayn a napkin with a phone number and a wink.   
    
(Zayn takes the napkin with a furious blush and pockets it before Louis can see it. The number goes into his phone as soon as he’s back in his office and sometimes he’ll hover over the new name in his address book hesitantly but he never gets around to calling it.)   
    
In the morning, there’s not really much time to talk to Liam. Zayn’s typically busy checking his email and text messages and mentally planning out his day in the office. Usually they only exchange a few words and smiles before Zayn and Louis are rushing out of the coffee shop.   
    
The afternoon is a different story though. Zayn’s started a habit of sneaking out of the office a little around lunch time to take a trip to see Liam. He doesn’t tell anyone where he’s going except for his secretary, Perrie, who always say goodbye to him with a wink and requests for caramel frappuccinos. Most people who pass him in the office on his way out don’t even ask where he’s going and it’s probably a true test of their friendship that Louis never says anything about it to Zayn or anyone else for that matter.   
    
In all honesty, Zayn doesn’t know how he used to get through the day without his trips out of the office. He hates sitting cooped up in there all day and the coffee shop is the perfect place for him to have a minute to himself. More often than not it’s completely empty and Zayn’s away from the prying eyes of the Newport public. It’s relaxing to sit in there and just talk to Liam about things that don’t really matter.   
    
Liam’s so _young_ and he’s fresh and different and, having just moved from the east coast, he’s untainted by the Newport way of life. Zayn feels himself loosening up as soon as he catches sight of Liam standing behind the counter lazily doodling or reading comics to pass the time until a customer walks through the door. Zayn sort of wishes that he could always be with Liam because something about him puts Zayn at ease in a way that no one else can.   
    
“Do you ever sleep?” Liam asks one day, passing Zayn his second coffee of the day.   
    
Zayn looks like hell and he knows it. They’re struggling on keeping tabs on a very important client that might be switching over to the Newport Group and Zayn knows they can’t afford to lose them. He and Louis had been up nearly the whole night discussing ways to keep the client under their belt.   
    
“Sleep is for the weak,” Zayn jokes half-heartedly, trying to keep open his drooping eyelids. The caffeine running through his bloodstream is barely helping and he’s afraid of nodding off at the table because chances are that if he falls asleep, Liam won’t be able to get him back up. Louis’ really the only one that knows how to deal with Zayn when he’s out cold.   
    
Liam looks at him really thoughtfully as if seriously considering this statement. “That was basically Harry and Niall’s thought process last year before finals. Pretty sure they went a good three days straight with only a handful of hours of sleep between the two of them. They spent all day in the library cramming and managed to pass all their exams. So I guess sleep really isn’t necessary.” Liam pauses for a second, eyebrows furrowing slightly. “Actually, no, never mind. Niall had to spend a night in the hospital after that because he was basically running on energy drinks. Sleep might be a bit important.”   
    
There’s a beat of silence because Zayn doesn’t really know what to say. Liam looks so serious and sincere and he is actually the single most ridiculous person Zayn’s ever met (which is saying something because Louis is his best friend). The bubble of laughter that spills from Zayn’s throat surprises him almost as much it surprises Liam and it’s probably just his sleep deprivation but he just can’t stop laughing.   
    
“Wow, I’m sorry, that sounded a lot less dumb and a lot more relevant in my head,” Liam says sheepishly as Zayn laughter finally dies down a little.   
    
“It’s okay,” Zayn says through the last of his giggles. “It’s just, I remember when college exams were the most serious problem I had to deal with. Wish that was still the case. My lack of sleep this week is unfortunately because of something more serious.”   
    
“Care to share?”   
    
Zayn shrugs, taking a sip of his slowly cooling coffee. “It’s just boring business stuff. You probably don’t want to hear it.”   
    
“Nah, I’d be happy to hear about it,” Liam smiles. “Niall tells me about boring business stuff all the time. I’ll even pretend like I’m interested.”   
    
There’s a sincere and honest expression on Liam’s face underneath the playfulness and it makes Zayn want to tell him about all the stupid problems he faces in the office even though most of them bore even _him_ to tears. And the thing is he knows that Liam will listen and he won’t even pretend to be interested because he really _will_ be interested. Even in the short amount of time Zayn’s known Liam, he’s figured out that that’s just the kind of person Liam is.   
    
“Okay, well, there’s this big shot client we have, Davidson, and we might be losing him to our competitor, the Newport Group,” Zayn starts, watching as Liam nods along, “and if we lose him, we’re pretty much shot for a while.”   
    
“How do you know you’re losing him?”   
    
“It was pretty clear once he came into our offices last week and told us he would be switching to the Newport Group next month when his contract with us ended.”   
    
“Oh,” Liam said simply. “Well, do you have any idea why?”   
    
Zayn sighs, picking at the muffin in front of him absentmindedly. “One of our guys, Nick, did some digging around. He found out that Davidson’s son is signing a contract with the Newport Group. He’s just starting up his own investment trust – something to do with mini-malls – and he doesn’t want to be under his father’s influence, y’know? But the problem is that Davidson’s not ready to let his son start something on his own. Like he trusts the kid and everything, but he just wants to keep an eye on him. So he’s planning on signing on to the Newport Group as well so they’ll be working under the same developers and stuff.”   
    
“Definitely not boring,” Liam laughs. “First time I’m ever in on any kind of Newport brand gossip. So, does Davidson’s son know that his father’s signing on with them? Because honestly if it was me, I would hate that. The whole reason I left New York was to get away from my father, I’d probably leave again if I knew that he followed me here.”   
    
Zayn raises an eyebrow because Liam never really talks about his life back home. He’s usually very vague about it all and this is the most open he’s ever been about it. Zayn files the information away in the back of his mind for later.   
    
“I don’t think that the son knows or he’d probably have done something about it by now,” Zayn shrugs.   
    
“Someone should tell him.”   
    
“Yeah, but it’s not that easy, Liam. Who would be the one to tell? It’d have to be-“ Zayn cuts off because the gears start turning in his head. Wow. No way. It couldn’t actually be that simple, could it? Maybe Liam’s been lying to him and he’s actually a super genius or something. “Liam. Oh my God.”   
    
“It’d have to be me?”   
    
“No, I mean, Liam. Oh my God. That’s it. We could tell him. Get someone from the company to talk to him. Louis or Nick or maybe Greg. Then we could convince him to convince his dad to stay with us instead of the Newport Group. This is brilliant.”   
    
Zayn doesn’t wait for a response before he’s whipping his phone out of his pocket, quickly calling Louis. The conversation goes fast and he can practically hear Louis mentally slapping himself because the solution was there all along and it was so _easy_.   
    
Corporate life must really be bringing Zayn down because he and Louis were always applauded for their quick and simple answers in the past. Maybe it’s good to have someone like Liam in his life who hasn’t been trained to think in the convoluted method of a Newport business man.   
    
“Man, Liam, I totally owe you. If we’re able to keep this client, I have no idea how I’ll ever repay you,” Zayn sighs as he closes his eyes, feeling relaxed for the first time in days. He has a feeling that this plan is going to work. Louis’ already setting up a meeting for Greg to go to talk to Davidson’s son. Everything is going to be fine. Just fine.   
    
“How about with a date?”   
    
“What’s that?”   
    
“How about you repay me with a date?”   
    
Zayn opens his eyes to find Liam looking at him cheekily, but there’s a hesitancy there and a hopefulness like he wants nothing more than for Zayn to say yes. And Zayn wants to say yes because he can’t deny that he _likes_ Liam, possibly more than he’s liked anyone in a while.   
    
The more Zayn comes into the coffee shop, the less he can deny that there aren’t butterflies fluttering in his stomach when Liam smiles at him or when their fingers brush together as Liam passes him his drink. There’s also no denying that Liam is well, attractive. He’s got broad shoulders and toned arms and soft looking lips that Zayn sometimes imagines pressing against his skin. Zayn’s pretty sure that it’s a bit inappropriate to imagine someone who’s barely legal doing the kind of things he imagines Liam doing with that mouth of his.   
    
It’s not only that Liam’s young (very, very young Zayn reminds himself when Liam licks his lips nervously and Zayn’s eyes dart towards the motion). It’s just, well, Zayn has a company to run and Liam deserves better than someone who’s too busy with work to pay attention to him.   
    
“I can’t,” Zayn answers, and it almost physically hurts to see Liam’s face fall. “You’re a sweet kid, Liam. But I just. Can’t.”   
    
Liam’s face heats up at that, and shit, maybe he shouldn’t have said that. Shouldn’t have referred to Liam as a kid because, even if mentally Zayn knows that Liam is much younger than him, he’s never, ever actually seen Liam that way.   
    
“Of course. Should’ve realized. Big Newport business man like you would never want to get with a poor college student like me,” Liam says, rolling his eyes. He stands up quickly, gathering up his and Zayn’s half-finished coffees and the trash on the table.   
    
“Liam-“   
    
“Zayn. It’s fine I get it. Listen, I need to get back to work. I’m sure you do too. I’ll see you later, okay?”   
    
Liam heads in the direction of the coffee shop’s backroom without another word, leaving Zayn alone, cursing himself for his own stupidity.   
    
\--   
    
Zayn avoids the coffee shop for the next few days, opting instead to go to his usual one closer to his and Louis’ apartment. Louis doesn’t question this sudden change in behavior and Zayn’s grateful because he doesn’t think he can fully explain to him what happened with Liam.   
    
For a while, he tries to keep thoughts of Liam far from his mind. Zayn buries himself in his work and attempts to ebb down the guilt rising in his stomach every time he passes the café on his way into the office. It works for a bit too because there’s constantly work to do, but as soon as Zayn has a single free minute, he finds himself hovering over Liam’s name in his phone before pocketing it away with a sigh.   
    
One day, Zayn returns to the office smelling of sharp and spicy curry. He and Louis are working through lunch, going over the facts and figures of a new low-income housing development they’re launching as a way to boost the company’s image. They’re sitting cross-legged on the floor of Zayn’s office, papers spread out all around them among their takeout. It’s a sort of tradition of theirs, going all the way back to the beginning of university. Zayn would feel weird working on a project in any other way.   
    
“God, why don’t we get food from this place more often?” Louis says, moaning almost obscenely. “It’s heavenly. I’m in heaven, Zayn. I have died a chicken tikka induced death and gone to heaven.”   
    
“That’s great,” Zayn replies, ignoring the disturbing noises Louis’ making and instead shifting through the papers directly in front of him about a possible beachfront neighborhood. “Can you focus, Lou? We have work to do.”   
    
“Can’t focus on anything but the explosion of flavor in my mouth.”   
    
They’re quiet for a little bit, the only sound in the room the shuffling of papers and Louis’ occasional sighs of pleasure.   
    
“We should go down to Liam’s for dessert. I’m craving one of those muffins,” Louis says suddenly.   
    
“Go ahead, I’m not stopping you,” Zayn asks distractedly as he takes a bite of his own food and files away an important document that he’s going to need later during their next presentation.   
    
“You could come with me. We haven’t been there for a while.”   
    
Zayn puts down the folder in his hand and frowns at Louis. He has an idea where Louis is going with this and he really doesn’t want to deal with it at the moment. “So? What’s your point, Louis?”   
    
“Just wondering why you haven’t been disappearing out there almost every day,” Louis shrugs, and Zayn knows by the look in his eye that any and all focus on his work is totally gone. “I feel like I never used to see you around the office before, but now you’re in here all the time.”   
    
“Can’t get any work done if I’m always out of the office, Lou. Can’t really bring my work there either. Too distracting.”   
    
“Yes, I’m sure it’s very distracting in the completely deserted coffee shop.”   
    
“Louis,” Zayn says with a tone of warning.   
    
“Zayn.”   
    
“Okay, fine. It used to be nice going down there and getting away from it all, right? But it’s just not anymore,” Zayn sighs.   
    
The thing is, Zayn’s not exactly lying. Being in the small café that Liam works in definitely helped him forget about the piles of paperwork waiting in his office and all his employees he has to deal with and the benefit galas he has scheduled every weekend. It’s almost like a different world in the eclectically decorated little shop with its soft indie music and sweet smelling pastries. But he can’t go back there anymore, not when Liam is always there. Not when he already managed to royally screw up this thing he had with Liam before it even started.   
    
“Is it because of Liam?” Yup, Louis definitely sees right through him.   
    
Zayn picks up his container of takeout, shifting through his food and trying to keep things casual, but it’s hard when he can feel the tips of his ears heating up from embarrassment. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”   
    
“What’d you do, Zayn?”   
    
It’s a better idea to just not say anything, because Zayn’s knows how Louis will react to all this. He’s not sure why he feels so embarrassed about these _feelings_ or whatever they are that he has about Liam. A part of him just wants to keep whatever it was that was going on between them to himself and not share it with anyone.   
    
“You like him, don’t you?”   
    
Zayn looks up at that finally. Louis knows him better than literally anyone, there’s no use lying to him and Zayn doesn’t know why he even tries anymore. “Sure, of course I like him. You’ve met him, Lou. He’s a likable guy.”   
    
Louis’ glaring at him now like he can’t believe that Zayn won’t talk to him about this. Zayn’s not really surprised – he hates it when Louis keeps things from him and it’s just natural that Louis feels the same way. He just doesn’t really know what he’s feeling because even if he doesn’t think of him that way, Liam _is_ just a kid. And yeah, Zayn finds him cute and smart and funny and just sort of perfect, but it wouldn’t be _right_ getting involved with Liam.   
    
The worst part is that even if getting involved with Liam was okay, it doesn’t really matter now, not when he’s already given Liam the wrong impression of things and just all around fucked things up.   
    
“Zayn, don’t give me that bullshit. You _like_ him. I can see it, you know. When you talk to him and stuff. I am aware of all the tell-tale signs of ‘Zayn Malik is interested let’s have sex’.”    
    
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t give off _signs_ ,” Zayn frowns.   
    
“Yes you do. But that’s not the point. We’re not in college anymore. If you like him, do something about it. You’re an adult. Liam’s an adult – wait Liam is an adult right? Because if he’s not forget I ever said anything and just-“   
    
“He’s turning nineteen at the end of August.”   
    
“Okay. Good,” Louis pauses for a second. “I just want you to be happy, you know that, right? It’s been awhile since you’ve shown interest anyone at all. I’m sure whatever it was that you did, you can fix it.”   
    
Zayn sighs and closes his eyes, head tilting back to hit his desk that he’s been leaning against this whole time. It’s true; he really hasn’t shown interest in anyone for a while. He’s been so busy with the company that he hasn’t really had time to think of anything as simple as finding a date. He’s not even sure he could keep up with having a relationship at the moment. Just the thought of it exhausts him.   
    
Liam makes things easy though. Everything about Liam is simple and laid-back and all the things Zayn’s not most of the time. It could be good for him, having someone like Liam in his life to balance things out. He knows that. It’s just. He doesn’t want to get into things and then screw them up again. Balance is something that Zayn’s never been good at, and he doesn’t want to start something with Liam that he can’t put everything into.   
    
And it’s not just himself that Zayn has to think about now. He has to think about Malik Developments and all his employees and it’s just so much _pressure_. Zayn’s not good with the press, he never has been. It’s one thing giving presentations that hat he can spend hours preparing for, but there’s nothing he can do when it comes to press. He doesn’t know what they’ll ask or what will happen and that feeling of being out of control gets to Zayn. A lot. It makes him panicked and nervous to the point that sometimes when he’s in front of a microphone he can’t breathe or think straight.   
    
Zayn _knows_ there will be press if he goes out with Liam. If _anything_ happens between them. It’s not every day that the CEO of a major company starts dating a college student six years his junior. It’s just the kind of gossip the Newport public would eat up. It’s also the kind of gossip that could seriously damage Malik Development’s reputation.   
    
“What would people think?”   
    
“What would people think of what?” Louis asks.   
    
Zayn opens his eyes to glance at Louis’ confused expression. “Of the CEO of Malik Developments going out with an eighteen year old kid? You know those Newpsies are always looking for the next big scandal in this town.”   
    
“Hardly counts as a scandal. It’s not nearly as bad as when you came out,” Louis scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Plus, since when have you cared what the Newpsies think?”   
    
Zayn shrugs. “I don’t really care what they think of _me_.”   
    
And he doesn’t, not really, at least not when it comes to image or whatever. He’s been dealing with the group of socialite women who have no jobs and no other hobbies other than getting into other people’s business (not-so-affectionately nicknamed the “Newpsies” by Louis) his whole life. They’ve always been there judging his every move, especially during his angsty teenage rebellion phase when he would wear leather jackets and get tattoos permanently inked into his skin. The only other time it was worse was when he was made CEO and, just as Louis mentioned, when he came out.   
    
“I do care what they think about the company though. You know this relationship could seriously affect things. I don’t want things to go downhill just because of some guy I met a coffee shop.”   
    
“Then keep it on the down-low,” Louis suggests, returning to his forgotten curry. “Not like you have to go gallivanting around town with him. Just take him out to dinner or something. Hang out at home. Or his apartment. No one really needs to know about it except you two. And me of course. You have to tell me all the dirty details.”   
    
Zayn bites his lip nervously, mulling it over a second. It’s not a bad idea really. Keeping things a secret in a town as small and nosy as Newport can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. Zayn’s become rather good at it too. He probably could keep this under wraps for a while.   
    
In Zayn’s first economics class back in junior year, they learned about risk and reward. If the cost, or risk, of an action was worth the benefit, or cost, then it was a risk worth taking.  Zayn wouldn’t have gotten where he was if it wasn’t for the fact that he was a risk-taker that always looked ahead to the greater awards.   
    
There’s no way he can deny that he has feelings for Liam, not when he’s been so miserable these past couple weeks without him. He could be putting a lot of things at risk by getting together with Liam, but a part of him is pretty sure Liam is a reward worth risking the world for.   
    
“Yeah, you’re right, Lou. Maybe I’ll ask him out to dinner or something,” Zayn smiles, warming up to the idea even more as he imagines himself sitting across from a table with Liam, sharing a meal that doesn’t consist of baked goods and caffeinated beverages. “If he’ll actually talk to me that is,” he adds with a frown.   
    
“Zayn you’ve got to listen to me. Sometimes I know what I’m – wait. Did you say I was right?”   
    
Zayn nods.   
    
“Of course I’m right. I’m always right. You should really listen to me more. So, what did you do exactly?”   
    
“Just said something I really shouldn’t have. Probably made him feel like shit. And then I avoided him since then. He probably thinks I hate him.”   
    
“I take back what I said before. You’re not an adult. You’ve been demoted back to teenage-Zayn. I revoke your adultship.”   
    
Zayn laughs for the first time in what feels like forever. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.”   
    
“Yes it is. Just talk to him, Zayn. Apologize. Then take him out to dinner and give him the best lay of his short life.”   
    
“I’ll get right on that,” Zayn replies sarcastically, digging through his curry.   
    
“Good. You better. Now, more importantly, where are you gonna take him? The Arches?”   
    
“Ugh, no way, too crowded. Everyone goes to the Arches,” Zayn replies, wrinkling his nose in distaste. “I was thinking somewhere more low-key. You know, if he actually agrees to go with me.”   
    
Louis chews through his chicken for a moment, wearing an expression that Zayn’s come to recognize as his thinking face. “There’s a small place near the beach that I took Eleanor once. Nick recommended it and it’s really quite nice. Quiet, secluded, and it’s just far enough out of the way that most of these Newport snobs probably wouldn’t bother going to it. Maybe you can go there? I can probably get you a reservation.”   
    
“Sounds perfect,” Zayn beams.   
    
It may be time to put that number in his phone to use. Hopefully Liam doesn’t hang up on him as soon as he realizes who it is that’s calling.   
    
\--   
    
It’s a few more days until Zayn actually gets the chance to call Liam. It’s partially because of work but mainly because he’s scared that Liam won’t give him a chance to explain himself and he’ll have gone through all this for nothing.   
    
Saturday Zayn has almost no work and absolutely no excuse not to call Liam. He’s sitting alone at home, eating last night’s takeout while Louis’ out to lunch with Eleanor. His phone is in his hand and he keeps pulling up Liam’s contact information and then quickly pressing the button for the homescreen before he actually gets himself to make the call.   
    
Honestly, Zayn’s just being chicken. He can do this, it’s just a phone call. He’s made hundreds of phone calls before, often to important executives who would rather do anything than talk to him. This should be nothing.   
    
Zayn pulls up Liam’s name on his screen one more time and takes one last deep breath. He can do this. No worries. It’ll be fine.   
    
The phone rings three times and Zayn’s about to hang up before there’s a click and a voice groggily answering, “Hello?”   
    
Shit, did he call too early in the morning? Maybe he should call back at a more reasonable time. Zayn looks at the clock and sees it’s nearing one in the afternoon. Okay, so maybe it’s not that early. But Zayn definitely remembers enjoying sleeping in late on weekends, so it could just be that one isn’t a very reasonable time for Liam.   
    
“Hello?” Liam’s voice comes through the speaker again, a bit clearer this time and Zayn realizes he still hasn’t said anything. He probably sounds like some weird creeper, breathing down the receiver like he is now.   
    
“Um, hi, Liam. It’s uh, me. Zayn.”   
    
“Zayn?” There’s a bit of surprise in Liam’s voice and he definitely sounds more awake than before. Something starts rustling in the background and Zayn wonders if Liam’s in bed right now, wrapped up tight in his duvet. Or maybe he doesn’t use a blanket since it’s the middle of summer. He could just sleep under his sheets, possibly in just his boxers or maybe even nothing at all to ward off the California heat. And wow, okay, that escalated a bit quickly in his mind and Zayn really shouldn’t be thinking of Liam naked when they’re on the phone together (a part of him feels he really shouldn’t be thinking of Liam naked at all, but that’s a problem for another time). He almost misses Liam’s next question because of it. “How did you get my number?”   
    
“You gave it to me, at the uh, coffee shop one day,” Zayn says, nervously picking at a loose thread on the couch.   
    
“Oh, right. So was there something you wanted to talk to me about or - ?”   
    
Zayn takes a deep breath. No need to be nervous. He can do this. This isn’t an interview. It’s just like another presentation to a big-named bank or firm. He’s done this hundreds of times. “Yeah, um. Listen, Liam. I’m really sorry about what happened the other day. When I was at the coffee shop. I really shouldn’t have said that – I honestly don’t even know why I did.”   
    
There’s a short pause and Zayn almost panics and hangs up the phone before Liam finally responds, voice tight. “It’s okay, Zayn. I get it. Big CEO like you, I should’ve known that you wouldn’t be interested in a kid like me.”   
    
“That’s the thing,” Zayn replies, breathing a little easier since Liam didn’t hang up on him and is actually talking to him. He settles deeper into the couch bringing his legs up underneath him before saying, “I’ve never thought of you that way before, Liam. As a kid I mean. I know you’re not and I really wish I could take back what I said that day. You just sort of – caught me by surprise I guess.”   
    
“You don’t have to make me feel better. I get it. Really. Listen, Zayn, I gotta go – “   
    
“No,” Zayn interrupts, the urgency in his voice surprising him, “Liam, I’m not just trying to make you feel better. I like you, okay? And fuck – I just. I really didn’t mean to come off as some pretentious businessman or whatever because. That’s not who I am. At least I hope not.”   
    
“You don’t,” Liam says after another beat of silence. “And that’s why I was so surprised, I guess. I didn’t really expect you to say something like that.”   
    
“And I’m so sorry, Liam. Really. You’re not just a kid to me. I swear, you mean a lot more to me than that. And I was wondering, if you’re still interested in that date, I’d love to take you out some time,” Zayn says, holding his breath at the end, in anticipation of Liam’s answer.   
    
“Really?”   
    
There’s a tone of surprise in Liam’s voice that Zayn can’t help but smile at it because it’s just so extremely endearing. “Yeah, of course. My schedule’s a bit busy, but we can figure something out I’m sure.”   
    
“How about tonight? I mean, is that a bit short notice? It’s just I don’t have work, and my roommates are seeing some band at the Bait Shop so my apartment will be empty tonight if you maybe just wanted to stay in or something –“   
    
Zayn cuts him off with a laugh because this is the Liam he’s grown so fond of over the past few weeks. Young and excitable – so fresh and different from everyone else in his life.   
    
“Tonight should be fine, actually. There’s a restaurant I wanted to go to that Lou recommended. But maybe we can go back to your place after? Or you could come back to mine. I think Louis’ going to be out with his girlfriend all night.”   
    
“Yeah, whatever is fine. Um, are you gonna pick me up, or are we gonna meet there or -?”   
    
“I can pick you up, sure. What’s your address?”   
    
Liam rattles off his address and Zayn copies it down with a huge smile that’s pretty near threatening to break his face. He doesn’t remember the last he’s had a date and it’s been even longer since he’s had a date with someone he actually likes. He’s getting that giddy feeling that he’s learned to associate with Liam and it’s so much better than the guilt and irritation he’d been feeling the past couple of weeks.   
    
“I’ll see you tonight then?” Liam asks, like he’s afraid that Zayn’s going to change his mind and tell him that the date is off.   
    
“Of course,” Zayn says, still smiling. “Tonight. Bye, Liam.”   
    
After he puts down the phone, Zayn takes a moment to just breathe. He did it – he apologized and Liam doesn’t hate him and he even agreed to go on a date with him. It’s like being back in high school and racking up the courage to ask out the cute girl who sat in the back of his English class.   
    
The feeling isn’t new, but it’s nice and he’s forgotten how much he’s missed it since then.   
    
Hopefully that restaurant Louis recommended really was as low-key as he claimed. He calls Louis quickly and asks him to make that reservation, unable to wipe the smile from his face.   
    
\--   
    
Zayn nervously fiddles with the collar of his shirt as he drives down the street, on his way to Liam’s. He really hopes that his outfit isn’t too much. Louis hadn’t really specified what kind of restaurant they were going to, and he’d spent way too long deciding what to wear.   
    
It was sort of sad really, how much time Zayn spent fretting over his clothes. When Louis had come home earlier to pick up stuff to take back to Eleanor’s, he’d walked into Zayn’s room to find him surrounded by once nicely ironed dress shirts now rumpled and thrown all over the floor.   
    
“What happened?” Louis asked, leaning against Zayn’s doorframe, clearly amused as Zayn rifled through the remaining clothes in his closest. “Did your closet finally decide that it couldn’t take any more of your hideously tacky clothes?”   
    
Zayn didn’t even bother to mention that most of his wardrobe mirrored Louis’ and instead looked at him with what could easily be considered crazy eyes. “Louis, what do I wear?”   
    
Louis, being the oh so helpful friend he is, just cackled and walked out to collect his things. “Whatever you want, loverboy. Don’t overthink it.” Zayn groaned as Louis left with one last laugh and an unhelpful wink in his direction.   
    
In the end he decided on a light pink dress shirt that Perrie got for his birthday last year. He opted out of the tie and instead decided to just leave the top unbuttoned and leave the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing inked skin. He paired it with a pair of tightly fitted black jeans, just nice enough to be on the right side of not-too-casual yet not-too-formal.   
    
The GPS guides Zayn into a neighborhood he doesn’t recognize and he takes a deep breath as it announces, “Now approaching your destination.”   
    
There’s really no reason for Zayn to be so nervous. It’s not his first date, not by a long-shot. And it’s just Liam. Liam with his bright laughter and playful eyes who makes Zayn feel calm and relaxed and never leaves him uneasy.   
    
It’s just a date, Zayn repeats to himself over and over again in his mind. It’ll all be fine.   
    
He takes a couple of minutes to compose himself when he reaches Liam’s apartment building, which, frankly is just ridiculous. Zayn knows he needs to get a grip. He’s just being dumb at this point.   
    
Liam’s apartment complex is similar to his own, though this one isn’t designed by Malik Developments. It doesn’t take long for Zayn to find his door and he takes one last calming breath before knocking.   
    
The door opens quickly, Liam smiling on the other side of it. He looks good – like really good. Not that Liam doesn’t always look good, but it’s different, seeing him out of his uniform from the coffee shop and instead in a soft-looking red sweater that hugs his body nicely and dark-wash jeans.   
    
“Hi,” he says, a little breathless.   
    
The butterflies Zayn was feeling subside a little and now it feels even more ridiculous that he was ever nervous. “Hi. Uh, are you ready to go?”   
    
Liam nods, and Zayn waits for him to lock up his apartment before the two of them head downstairs together.   
    
“So, where are we going?” Liam asks, getting into the passenger side of Zayn’s car.   
    
“Some small place far down the pier,” Zayn shrugs. “I’ve never been there actually. Hopefully it’s not a bust.”   
    
“Please tell me it’s not that place where there actually was a drug bust the other week,” Liam jokes, buckling himself in, “I don’t know how comfortable I would feel with that.”   
    
“It’s not too late to get out of the car,” Zayn replies with a smile and Liam laughs, bright and loud.   
    
“Don’t think I’ll ever get out of this car. It’s gorgeous,” Liam goes wide-eyed at that, placing a hand on the dashboard in front of him with a bit of reverence.   
    
Zayn shrugs because he honestly has no particular attachment to the car. “I guess. Not a big fan of cars really. This was a gift from my dad from when I made CEO.”   
    
Liam’s eyes widen further, more in shock than anything. “ _You guess?_ Not a big fan of cars. Jesus. I would sell Harry to buy a car like this.”   
    
Not for the first time, Zayn realizes that Liam is absolutely ridiculous and he decides it’s one of his favorite things about him. “Not Niall though?”   
    
“Definitely not,” Liam says shaking his head. “I’ve grown a bit too attached to that one.”   
    
The laugh that escapes Zayn’s mouth catches him by surprise just a little, but it’s worth it when he sees the grin on Liam’s face and the excitement in his eyes.   
    
“So, before I go trading Harry off, why don’t you show me exactly how fast this baby goes?”   
    
Without a word, Zayn puts a bit of pressure on the accelerator and Liam whoops with glee as they head down the surprisingly empty street leading away from Liam’s apartment.   
    
\--   
    
The restaurant is a small Italian place, just off the far side of the harbor. Every window overlooks the Pacific, and they’re close enough that Zayn can practically smell the salt of the ocean mixing with the spices in the air.   
    
He and Liam are lead upstairs to a more quiet part of the restaurant. There’s an eclectic mix of people downstairs including the owner of a big landscaping company that Zayn’s worked with, holding hands with a petite blonde that is definitely not his wife. Zayn avoids his gaze, knowing that he had probably picked the place the same reason he had – to get away from the prying eyes of Newport’s elite.   
    
Upstairs the lighting is dimmer and there’s a soft instrumental piece playing that Zayn thinks is Vivaldi. Overall, it’s very comfortable, and Zayn reminds himself to thank both Louis and Nick later for recommending the place.   
    
“Place, seems nice,” Liam smiles, taking his seat. “Question is though, how is the food? I won’t ever forgive you for taking me somewhere with crap entrees.”   
    
“I assure you the food here is excellent, Liam Payne,” a voice says, approaching their table. There’s a waitress approaching their table with a playful smile on her face.   
    
“Cher!” Liam exclaims in excitement. “I didn’t know you worked here. Zayn, this is Cher Lloyd, we go to school together. Cher this is –“   
    
“Zayn Malik, CEO of Malik Industries. I know. My father’s a banker in Newport. Your name’s come around the dinner table more than once – when you know, dad actually makes it to dinner.”   
    
Zayn grins in recognition. “Lloyd, he’s a good guy. Helped Louis and I out a few times last year when I first took over. Tell him I said hi and that we should do lunch sometime.”   
    
“Noted. So, I get how you would know my dad, but never expected you to know Liam here, Mr. CEO. Are you guys friends or - ?” Cher raises a carefully sculpted eyebrow in curiosity.   
    
Cher seems like a nice girl but there’s a glint in her eyes that Zayn’s familiar with – it’s the same look the Newpsies have when they’re sitting around during benefit galas, gossiping about the latest scandal to hit the town. Zayn’s sure she’s more than ready to go tell the first person she meets that her college friend is on a date with one of Newport’s biggest businessmen, and that’s exactly what Zayn doesn’t want.   
    
He’s pretty sure the whole town knowing about his first date would defy the whole keeping the relationship low-key thing.   
    
Zayn’s just about to confirm that he and Liam are friends – it’s a bit of a long shot considering the mood lighting and the classical music and the fact that they’re surrounded by other couples, but Zayn’s willing to try – when Liam interrupts. “Actually, we’re on a date.”   
    
It’s hard to tell who’s more shocked – Zayn or Cher. Cher’s eyes get comically huge, especially considering that it was quite obvious that this wasn’t a typical outing between two friends, and it’s quite possible that Zayn’s get just as large.   
    
Liam on the other hand seems to be glowing with happiness, like there’s no place he’d rather be than on a date with Zayn. It almost makes the uncomfortable twisting that started in Zayn’s stomach subside.   
    
“Date,” Cher repeats. “ _Cute_. Very cute. So are you ready to order? Or should I come back?” She’s basically bouncing on the balls of her feet and Zayn’s contemplating if banging his head against the table would be a viable option in this situation. It’d probably be easier to deal with the public backlash with a concussion. Or maybe not. He’s never actually had a concussion before.   
    
“A few more minutes maybe?” Liam says, returning to his menu.   
    
“Sure! How about drinks then?”   
    
“Let’s get a bottle of wine. Two glasses,” Zayn orders. Getting a bit tipsy would probably be a better idea than a self-induced concussion.   
    
“I’m not supposed to be drinking. Still eighteen, remember?” Liam jokes, kicking Zayn lightly under the table.   
    
Zayn rolls his eyes at that, trying not to pay attention to the way that Cher looks like she’s itching to go tell someone about the couple she’s waiting on. “So terribly sorry. How about a glass of a wine for me and an apple juice for my date. In a sippy cup. Don’t want any accidents.”   
    
Liam kicks him harder this time, making Zayn yelp in surprise and glare at him.   
    
“You two are adorable. I’ll be back with your wine and to take your order.”   
    
Cher heads back to the kitchens and Liam watches her go with a fond smile on his face. “She’s great isn’t she? Cher’s one of the first people I met when I started going to school here. Other than Harry, of course, since he was my roommate.”   
    
“Seems nice,” Zayn nods, smile a bit tight around the edges. His mind’s whirring, already planning damage control in case word gets out about him and Liam. It’s hard to say what he can do when Liam’s made it clear it’s a date, but Zayn’s dealt with worse.   
    
“Is something wrong?” Liam asks, brows furrowed. He reaches out and grabs the hand Zayn’s left on top of the table, interlocking their fingers. It helps, the feel of their skin together. Makes Zayn feel more calm. Zayn decides he really likes holding hands with Liam.   
    
“Actually, there was something I wanted to talk to you about,” Zayn says, smiling softly when Liam starts to run his thumb comfortingly over the back of his hand. “I wasn’t really planning on doing it now, but with Cher and everything –“   
    
“What’s wrong?”   
    
Zayn takes a deep breath, trying to figure out what exactly to say. He doesn’t want to make the same mistake as last time and accidentally screw things up. Something tells him Liam might not forgive him a second time.   
    
“I was just hoping that maybe, for now at least, we could possibly keep all this on the down-low?” Liam’s stops the patterns he’s making on Zayn’s skin but he doesn’t let go, and Zayn takes that as a sign to continue. “I really like you, Liam. Like a lot. But with the company and everything, it’s really important that I keep a ‘clean image’ or whatever.”   
    
“So you don’t want people to know that we’re dating?” Liam looks more serious than Zayn’s ever seen him, and it worries him just a tad bit. Zayn’s half-expecting to let go of his hand and just call this whole off.   
    
“No, it’s not that,” Zayn starts, but then adds sheepishly, “Well, actually, yeah it’s sort of that.” He sighs and squeezes Liam’s hand. This whole thing kind of sucks, he knows that. It’s hard to explain what exactly is going on.   
    
“Listen, God knows I don’t give a fuck what people think about me. I do, however, care what people think about the company, and unfortunately in this town, my image is directly tied to my company’s. And people wouldn’t take this lightly, me dating an eighteen year old.”   
    
“Almost nineteen,” Liam smiles weakly and Zayn gives a small laugh and squeezes his hand again. Liam looks down at the table and at their tangled fingers. His other hand is balled in a fist next to his menu, tense. Zayn’s starting to worry about that Liam’s not going to respond.   
    
 “I understand,” he finally says, “I mean, I have to admit, I will never understand all the inner-workings of this business world, but yeah, I understand that this is important to you.”   
    
“Really?” Zayn asks, surprised. He’s honestly shocked at how well this is all going. Zayn’s not sure exactly what he was expecting from Liam, but it wasn’t all this _maturity_.   
    
Liam smiles then, bringing their linked hands up and pressing them gently to his lips. The tiny gesture makes Zayn’s heart flutter a bit. “Yeah. Zayn, I like you too, and all I want is to be with you. If that means we have to be in some kind of serendipitous relationship, I’m okay with that.”   
    
“Surreptitious.”   
    
Liam tilts his head in confusion. “What?”   
    
“I think you mean surreptitious. Serendipity is a lucky accident. Y’know, like the John Cusack movie.”   
    
“Right,” Liam laughs. “English is not my strong point as you can see.”   
    
“Good thing you’re dating an English minor then,” Zayn smiles.   
    
Liam’s got a cheeky smile on his face, but Zayn never gets to hear the comment that goes along with it because his phone starts buzzing out of control in his pockets. He’d thought to turn it off before dinner, but he didn’t want to in case there was some kind of emergency at the office. To be honest, it’s a surprise that nobody had been trying to contact him this whole time. Sometimes Zayn feels like he spends more time on his phone than off it.   
    
Zayn takes it out with a frown and then sighs when he sees Louis’s texted him. Six times. And called. Twice.   
    
_zayynnnnn_   
    
_zaynnn maliikkkkk_   
    
_answer meeeee_   
    
_it’s importantttt_   
    
_911 emergency!! call back asap!!!_   
    
_ZAYNNN_   
    
“Um, do you mind if I go take this? It’s Louis. Apparently there’s some sort of emergency,” Zayn scowls, getting up out of his seat. Zayn’s been friends with Louis long enough to know that this isn’t a real emergency, but it’s hard to concentrate on anything when his phone keeps buzzing in his hand.   
    
“Sure,” Liam nods. “Do you want me to go ahead and order something for you if Cher comes back?”   
    
“That’d be great, just uh, get me whatever I guess,” Zayn agrees, heading to the bathrooms where hopefully it’ll be a little more private.   
    
Fortunately the bathroom is totally empty, and Zayn quickly calls Louis.   
    
“Zayn!” Louis answers, excitedly.   
    
“What do you want? What’s this ‘emergency’?” Zayn asks, a bit irritated that Louis pulled him out from his date.   
    
“How’s your date going?”   
    
Zayn pauses because _what_? “What?”   
    
“Your date. With Liam. How is it going? I need to know these things, Malik.”   
    
“Are you fucking serious, Louis? Your emergency is that you need an update on my date?”   
    
“I’m _bored_ , Zayn. Eleanor is boring.” There’s a thump and a shuffle on the other end. “ _Ow,_ El that’s not nice.”   
    
“I’m hanging up on you now, Lou,” Zayn says, clearly more irritated than before. He’d expected Louis to at least ask him how to turn the oven on or where he’d left the remote or _something_. He didn’t think Louis would interrupt his date to _ask how it was going_.   
    
“No! Zayn –“   
    
“Bye, Lou.” Zayn presses the end call button without waiting for response. He sighs and rubs at his temples. He really shouldn’t be surprised since it _is_ Louis, but still.   
    
Zayn leaves the bathroom and comes back to the table to find Cher pouring out two glasses of wine. Liam’s whispering something to her quietly, and she looks sort of downhearted at whatever it is he’s saying. Cher frowns and looks like she’s about to protest but Liam’s scowl makes her huff out a reluctant breath of agreement.   
    
She leaves with a curt turn towards the kitchens and Liam’s left trying the first sip of his wine by himself.   
    
Zayn watches with a fond smile as Liam wrinkles his nose adorably, but his expression brightens when Zayn finally takes his seat. “I’m not really a fan of wine. Or drinking in general really.”   
    
“Not a fan of wine. I’d sell Louis for a good bottle of wine,” Zayn smirks, obviously teasing Liam for his earlier comments. “Actually at this point, I’d sell Louis for wine in a box.”   
    
Liam laughs. “What was the emergency?”   
    
“No real emergency,” Zayn replies, rolling his eyes. “Just Louis being an idiot. What were you talking to Cher about just now?”   
    
Liam takes another sip of his wine, expression twisting again. “I was just telling her not to say anything to anyone about us. She was a bit disappointed. I sort of forgot that Cher’s quite the gossip.”   
    
“Her and everyone else in this town.”   
    
“You can trust, Cher,” Liam assures. “It’s hard for her, but when she needs to, she can keep a secret.”   
    
“I sure hope so,” Zayn says, taking a sip of his own wine and relishing at the bittersweet taste of it in his mouth.   
    
Liam kicks Zayn softly again under the table. “Hey, if you can’t trust Cher, trust me, yeah?”   
    
Zayn kicks back with a smile. “I definitely trust you, Liam. Don’t worry.”   
    
\--   
    
Halfway through the bottle of wine, Zayn’s starting to feel giddy and light and happy but he’s not exactly sure if it’s all because of the alcohol. Liam matches him almost drink for drink despite his insistence after every sip that wine tastes like grape pee. The drink’s making him giggly and there’s a pink blush creeping up his cheeks that Zayn really wants to feel under his fingertips.   
    
They both get pasta to compliment the wine, and Zayn spends most of the night ignoring the spaghetti in front of him to swipe pieces of penne off Liam’s plate until Liam rolls his eyes with a smile and pushes it to the center of the table so it’s easier to share.   
    
It’s so easy being with Liam, sitting with him, talking to him, their legs intertwined under the table as they share a meal together. Zayn wonders if they could do this some other time in some other place. He thinks he likes the idea of waking up to a sleep-rumpled Liam and sharing breakfast with him in his apartment, legs intertwined under the table that he and Louis rarely use.   
    
One of his favorite things about Liam, Zayn thinks, is that he’s just so easy to talk to. Zayn feels like he never has to hold back and there’s never a shortage of things to talk about. Conversation flows easily, especially with the two of them sharing things about themselves that never really came up in the coffee shop.   
    
Zayn starts of by telling Liam all about growing up in Newport. He talks about his sisters and his mom and his dad and going to fancy parties and dealing with snooty rich kids all his life. He recounts the story of how he met Louis his first year of UCLA and how they had quickly become friends and ended up rooming together after Louis’ roommate had dropped out at the end of first semester and Zayn’s got kicked out because he was buying all his papers online.   
    
Even though it’s not all that interesting, Zayn talks about work and what he does and how he got to where he is now. As usual, he gives most of the credit to Louis, and honestly, Zayn’s pretty sure he’d be nowhere without him. Louis’s the real brains behind this operation, and Zayn makes sure that everyone knows that.   
    
Liam nods very attentively while Zayn speaks, genuinely interested by every word that comes out of his mouth. He even asks questions and adds things based on the little business knowledge he’s picked up from Niall over the last couple of years. It’s been a long time since someone’s actually been interested in what Zayn has to say, and he loves having all of Liam’s attention.   
    
When it’s Liam’s turn to talk, Zayn gives him just as much attention as he receives. Liam tells Zayn stories about growing up in Brooklyn with his mother, a social worker, his father, a public defender, and his two older sisters. They had a decent amount of money as Liam was growing up, but it was nothing compared to the lavish lifestyle that Zayn led when he was younger.   
    
It was always Liam’s plan to get out of New York though. He wanted to see more – the west coast especially. When he got accepted to a small school near Newport with a decent scholarship, he didn’t even think twice before packing his bags and flying across the country. He worked at the coffee shop, which was apparently owned by his uncle, the summer before college to save some extra money.   
    
Zayn can’t help but laugh out loud when Liam tells him about his first day of university and walking into his dorm to find Harry there, naked.   
    
“Completely nude,” Liam giggles. “Great first impression, really. It’s impossible to get the guy to wear clothes, but you get used to it after a while.”   
    
They met Niall in the commons not long after that, and the three of them just seemed to connect. Zayn smiles at that, remembering how it was similar with him and Louis. Zayn’s not really sure how the two of them became friends – it just sort of happened. He’s really glad it did though.   
    
Zayn’s a bit surprised when he empties out the last of the wine into his glass, though he really shouldn’t be considering his light headedness. It takes a bit more effort than usual to concentrate on what Liam’s saying to him – something about the beach he thinks.   
    
“It’s one of the main reasons I wanted to come to California, I think. Beaches in New York are fine, but there’s just something about being near the ocean here that’s so much more appealing,” Liam explains, finishing off his last glass of wine.   
    
Zayn shakes his head in disagreement, which probably wasn’t the best of ideas because everything seems to be swimming a bit. “Ugh, no. I hate the beach. All the people and sun and sand in places there shouldn’t be sand. Just. No.”   
    
Liam’s mouth falls open at that. “How can you hate the beach? How can you _live in California_ and hate the beach? I take practically every opportunity I get to go surfing.”   
    
“Not my thing,” Zayn shrugs, “Louis’s more into that kind of stuff. I can’t even swim. Me and open bodies of water don’t mix.”   
    
“You don’t even enjoy like, sitting by the water? It’s so relaxing. Definitely my favorite way to unwind, especially at night.”   
    
“I just don’t really see the appeal,” Zayn replies, scrunching his nose.   
    
Liam slams a hand down on the table, surprising both Zayn and a couple sitting to their right. He giggles in embarrassment and apologies before saying, “That’s it, we’re going to the beach. Right now. I will show you how nice it is. You’re gonna want to go back every day.”   
    
“Do we have to?” Zayn groans, but Liam’s already flagging Cher down and asking her for the check. “How are we going to get there? I don’t think I should be driving right now.”   
    
“It’s like right there, Zayn. You can _see_ it from here. We’ll walk.”   
    
“What about my car?” Zayn’s trying to think of every way to get out of this. The beach really is one of his least favorite places to go, and he doesn’t think he’s going to enjoy it even if he’s drunk off at least half a bottle of wine and a night with Liam.   
    
“Call Louis and tell him to pick it up or something, I don’t know,” Liam says, pulling out his wallet.   
    
It takes a minute for Zayn to process what he’s doing because he’s thinking about how Liam’s too smart for his own good and how he’s probably not getting out of this beach thing easily. “Excuse me, what are you doing? I’ll take care of that.”   
    
Zayn takes the bill out of Liam’s hands and slips his credit card into it, passing it to Cher quickly as Liam lets out a sound protest. “I asked you out, I pay for the date. You can pay next time.”   
    
“There’s gonna be a next time?” Liam beams, former anger at not being able to pay forgotten.   
    
“As long as I don’t drown at the beach,” Zayn mumbles taking his phone out of his pocket to call Louis. He tries to hide the blush spreading through his cheeks as he thinks about future dates with Liam and if Liam notices it, he hopes that he puts it down to the wine.   
    
Zayn’s a bit surprised to find multiple missed calls and messages from the office, but he ignores them all, hoping they can wait for tomorrow, and calls Louis instead.   
    
“Zayn! How’s your date going? Have you called because you’ve finally decided to give me an update?” Louis exclaims, picking up after the first ring.   
    
“It’s fine and no. Can you come to the restaurant to pick up my car? I’m not really in a state to drive right now.”   
    
Liam’s untangling their legs from under the table as he stands up and talks to Cher who’s returned with Zayn’s credit card. Zayn can’t help but frown a little at the loss of contact.   
    
“Oh. Yeah. Sure. How are you going to get home? Do you want me to drive you?” Louis asks, sounding a bit disappointed.   
    
“Nah, no need. Liam and I are going to the beach. I’ll get a cab from there,” Zayn says, smiling as he grabs Liam’s outstretched hand.   
    
“The beach? You hate the beach.”   
    
“I do. But Liam likes the beach. So we’re going to the beach. I’m leaving the keys with a waitress named Cher. You can get them from her. I’ll talk to you later, Lou. Bye.”   
    
Zayn hangs up without waiting for an answer and smiles at Liam who’s already grinning at him, bright and beautiful. It’s quite possible that Zayn might be a little gone for this kid already.   
    
\--   
    
The walk to the beach is quick and uneventful. The night air is cool and refreshing and just enough to sober Zayn up a bit. He still feels light and giggly but nothing’s spinning anymore and he’s pretty sure that’s a good sign.   
    
“So, what are we doing exactly?” Zayn asks, walking across the boardwalk and down the concrete steps that lead to the sand. He takes off his shoes at the bottom just like Liam and follows him towards the water.   
    
The sand is cold against the bottom of his feet, and he can already feel it getting stuck between his toes and under his nails. Sand is a terrible thing really. This is why he hates the beach.   
    
Liam’s walking ahead of him, maneuvering through the sand easily while Zayn trudges along with every step. “Just sitting by the water. It’s what I do to relax. I’m gonna show you the beach isn’t all that bad.”   
    
Zayn continues to follow him wordlessly until Liam plops down on the ground, just far enough from the ocean that they’ll stay nice and dry. He stretches out, leaning back on his forearms and extending his legs in front of him. There’s a serene look on his face, and it calms Zayn down too. Maybe the beach is worth it if he gets to see Liam like this all the time.   
    
“Sit down with me,” Liam whines, pulling on Zayn’s arm and bringing him to fall unceremoniously and land half in Liam’s lap. Liam might be younger than Zayn, but he’s definitely bigger, stronger, capable of manhandling him in every way even when Zayn isn’t tipsy off half a bottle of cheap wine. Honestly, Zayn doesn’t really mind the size difference at all. If anything, he finds it incredibly hot and blushes a bit thinking of all the other ways that Liam could manhandle him later.   
    
Zayn shifts so he’s fully on the sand, thankful for the night for hiding his fading blush, and Liam slips an arm around his waist, pulling him close to his side. He has to admit, there is something oddly relaxing about all this, but he’s not sure if it’s really the gentle rolls of the waves as much as it is being tucked safely into Liam’s side, listening to his soft breathing and feeling the warmth from his body.   
    
“Do you do this a lot?” Zayn asks turning his head slightly to look up at Liam.   
    
Liam shrugs, still looking out at the water. “I used to, when I first moved here. Before I met Niall and Harry. I would get homesick sometimes and it was comforting being here. I went to the beach a lot in New York too. I mean, I know it’s a different ocean and everything, but it feels sort of the same? I can’t really explain it.”   
    
“No, I totally get it,” Zayn says, nodding thoughtfully because he totally did. The whole concept of getting away from it all was nothing new to him. “When I was in high school, there was this park by my house, right? And every time I fought with my dad or something shitty happened at school, I would go there and sit under this one huge tree. I don’t even know why. There was something about it that just made me feel really relaxed. I still go there sometimes, when I have a really bad day at the office. Or I used to, I guess. Haven’t been there in a while.”   
    
“No more bad days at the office?”   
    
Zayn laughs. “I wish. Lately I’ve just taken up the habit of visiting you when I have a bad day. Going to the coffee shop makes me feel just as relaxed as the park did.”   
    
“Is it because I give you free muffins?” Liam jokes, poking Zayn in the side and making him squirm and giggle.   
    
“Definitely. It’s all about the muffins. That’s the real reason I asked you out, y’know? So I could get more free muffins.”   
    
Liam shoves him playfully, and Zayn almost falls completely into the sand laughing. He doesn’t care that he’s wrinkling his favorite dress shirt or getting sand in places that will be a bitch to clean out later. All that matters is Liam and his loud laughter and stupid crinkly eyed smile.   
    
“Why do you come to the coffee shop so much?”   
    
Zayn looks at Liam like he’s grown a second head or something because what. He thought that much was pretty obvious. “It’s because I like seeing you, you dumb. I didn’t actually ask you out because of free muffins.”   
    
“Just making sure,” Liam beams, and before Zayn knows it, he’s being tackled into the ground with Liam lying heavily on top of him.   
    
There’s definitely sand everywhere now. Zayn can feel it going into the back of his shirt and into his pants but it’s not really his main concern when Liam is shifting to hover right above him and smile down at him while looking all soft and pretty in the moonlight.   
    
“Hi,” Liam grins.   
    
“Hi,” Zayn laughs back. “How’s it going?”   
    
“Well, I was just on this date with an amazing guy.”   
    
“Oh? And how’d that go?”   
    
“Pretty well,” Liam says. “But there was one problem,” he adds, eyebrows furrowing.   
    
“And what’s that?” Zayn inquires, his own eyebrow quirking questioningly.   
    
“Well, I was waiting all night for him to kiss me. But he never did.”   
    
Zayn’s face heats up again a little at that, eyes darting down to where Liam’s nervously licking his lips. Not for the first time, he wonders what that tongue would feel against his own lips, licking around his own mouth. “That was quite dumb of him. What’d you do about it?”   
    
“I kissed him first.”   
    
Before Zayn can reply, Liam’s leaning down and pressing their mouths together. He’s a bit hesitant at first, like he’s surprised that he actually did it, but gains fervor and confidence when Zayn starts kissing him back.   
    
Zayn snakes a hand into Liam’s curls, tries to pull him closer. He can taste wine and something salty like the ocean air and something that is just very inexplicably Liam. Liam moans softly into his mouth when Zayn tugs a little too hard, but it’s not in protest and it makes Zayn wonder what other sounds he can get out of Liam.   
    
He pulls away first, breathing hard and head falling back to land in the sand. Liam’s chest is rising and falling a bit more rapidly than usual as well, and he’s smiling down at Zayn, cheeks pink and eyes bright.   
    
“Did he kiss back?”   
    
Liam laughs loudly and presses their lips together again.   
    
\--   
    
The next few weeks fly by in a blur of Liam. Zayn goes to the office, but he takes every opportunity he gets to slip down to the coffee shop. There’s a lot of time spent giggling over coffee and cuddling on the couch that faces away from the window, sharing small kisses that sometimes become more heated and end with Zayn returning to the office with love bites covered by the buttoned collar of his dress shirt.   
    
Zayn’s having trouble concentrating during meetings and presentations because all he can think of is _LiamLiamLiam_ and it may be becoming a problem, but it’s not one he’s willing to fix. Louis’ taken to confiscating his phone when they have important business to deal with and even Perrie, who spent a good week gushing over his date, starts redirecting Liam’s calls to the office straight to Louis so Zayn doesn’t become too distracted.   
    
Even with Louis and Perrie conspiring against Zayn and making him do terrible things like actually work, Zayn finds more than enough time to see Liam. When they’re not at the coffee shop, Zayn goes over to Liam’s apartment and they watch movies or crap television and Zayn ignores all the calls he gets on his phone. Sometimes, with Louis’ permission, Liam goes over to his and Louis’ and Eleanor comes over and they all have dinner together.   
    
And it’s not like Zayn is disregarding his responsibilities completely. They’re still working on the Newport merger and when he’s not with Liam, Zayn devotes himself to perfecting it and making sure it goes through in the end. He also deals with some of their other clients and pushes harder for their low-income housing development to get approved. He thinks he’s doing a pretty good job of balancing it out, all things considered.   
    
Sometimes when Zayn is busy, Liam comes over with comics, or, less often, an actual book to keep him busy. He lays on the couch quietly as Zayn leans against it, papers spread across the floor as he and Louis discuss the next step in whatever project they're working on. It's comforting having Liam there with him, even if he’s just running a hand through his hair absent-mindedly as he tries to focus on whatever he’s reading.   
    
The first time Zayn walks into his office and finds Liam there waiting for him with lunch, he nearly has a heart attack. It takes a few minutes to calm him down and reassure him that Liam had talked to Louis beforehand and no one had seen him come in and they weren’t putting the secrecy of their relationship in jeopardy. When Zayn’s finally got his breathing under control again, Liam promises that he’ll give Zayn a bit of warning before he pops into the office again.   
    
Liam visits him at work a few times after that, and while Zayn still worries that someone is going to see them together, he likes having Liam there to keep him company during lunch. Liam does a good job at avoiding running into most of the people who work at the office, and the only people he talks to are Louis, Nick, Ant, and Danny who all love him. There’s also Perrie who thinks Liam is just about the cutest thing ever and has no qualms about joining him and Zayn for lunch or listening in on their conversations when Liam manages to reach Zayn on his office line.   
    
Zayn hasn’t been this happy in a long time. Even with all the work he has, he doesn’t remember the last time he felt so calm and relaxed. For the first time since becoming CEO, Zayn feels like everything is going right.   
    
\--   
    
"All ready for tonight?" Louis asks one day while they're eating lunch at the office.   
    
Liam is spending the day with Niall and Harry, enjoying one of their last free weeks before school starts up again in the fall. Louis and Zayn meanwhile are preparing a presentation for a new project they're thinking of undertaking.     
    
"Ready for what?" Zayn asks, shuffling papers around but not really taking anything in. Looking over the facts and figures has to be his least favorite part of the business world. Numbers make his head hurt, that's why he has Louis as his CFO.   
    
"Simon Cowell is throwing that huge benefit gala tonight at his place. Eleanor says it's all the Newpsies have been talking about when they come into the restaurant. Supposed to be the biggest event of the year or something."   
    
Zayn groans in annoyance. "That sounds absolutely terrible. Do we have to go? Benefit galas are always so _boring."_   
    
"It's part of being in the Newport business life," Louis shrugs, "it'd probably look bad if we didn't go."   
    
"I hate these things," Zayn pouts, stabbing his chicken with a bit more force than is probably necessary.   
    
"You could always bring Liam, y'know. It'd probably be better with him there. Having El there with me usually makes things somewhat bearable."   
    
Zayn frowns and shakes his head. “You know I can’t do that, Lou.”   
    
“There’s no one stopping you.”   
    
“The company - “   
    
“Screw the company,” Louis snaps, and it surprises Zayn a bit, the force with which he says it. “I mean, like, no. Don’t screw the company. We’ve worked too hard for you to screw the company. But screw everything else. People have bounced back from things much worse than the CEO having an almost underage boyfriend.”   
    
The worst part is that Louis’ right. Zayn’s grown up in Newport, he’s witnessed basically every scandal the town has gone through first-hand, and he’s seen companies bounce back after their owners have been through the worst. There should be nothing keeping him from going public with Liam. And he wants to. So bad. Something is just holding him back.   
    
“I don’t think I’m ready yet,” Zayn admits, leaning his head against his desk, eyes closed. And there it is. Zayn’s own insecurities are holding him back. It’s not about the company, not about Liam, it’s about _Zayn_.   
    
“Not ready for what?” Louis asks, and Zayn’s known him long enough that he can practically _hear_ the way that Louis’ mouth turns down at the corners.   
    
“Not ready for people to know, I guess? I don’t know. I’ve never had a like, boyfriend or whatever, Louis. Not since becoming CEO. I don’t want to put myself in the limelight because of this. Or put Liam in the limelight, or like, whatever. It just seems like too much right now, and I just. Can’t.”   
    
The idea terrifies him, to be honest. Zayn can’t imagine his private life becoming public and all the attention he’d receive and people asking him questions and just wanting to know things they really have no right to know. Just thinking about it makes Zayn’s head spin because he can’t _deal_ with that kind of stuff.   
    
Zayn opens his eyes to see Louis staring at him, eyes thoughtful and mouth set in a line. There’s a moment of silence in which Zayn doesn’t really know what to expect next and then Louis says, “Okay.”   
    
“Okay?” Zayn repeats, surprised. He’d expected something a bit more from Louis. A push in the right direction or something. Anything other than just “okay”.   
    
Louis nods. “Okay. I know how you are under pressure, Zayn. And how you are when you think the whole world’s watching you. So, okay. Do this when you’re ready. Just, don’t wait too long, ‘kay? Trust me, Liam’s not gonna want to keep this up for too long, despite what he says now. And you can’t let this one get away. I like him. He goes surfing with me.”   
    
Zayn smiles in relief and can’t help but let out a tiny laugh. “Don’t worry, Lou, I won’t lose you your surfing buddy.”   
    
“Good,” Louis nods, totally serious, “that’s all I ask.”   
    
\--   
    
About an hour into Cowell’s party, Zayn’s ready to go and lie in incoming traffic. There’s plenty of food and booze but it’s not enough to keep him interested as he listens to men talk business and politics and women gossip about their friends. He gets enough of all that at the office.   
    
The fundraiser, as Eleanor had mentioned, is supposed to be one of the biggest events of the year, but for all the glitz and glamour that went into the decorations, it’s still boring as fuck. Zayn’s had about three glasses of champagne and too many tiny appetizers to count and he just wants to go home.   
    
Louis had run off to dance with Eleanor and Zayn glares enviously at where they’re twirling around, huge smiles on their faces, as he pretends to listen to one of his clients (he never seems to be able to remember his name - James? Johnson? Jackson? Jameson? - something of the sort) prattle on about a community center he’s thinking about investing in.   
    
For once, Zayn’s almost ecstatic when his phone starts buzzing incessantly in his pocket. He prays for something to get him out of this gala - he doesn’t even care if there was a fire at the office or something, as long as he gets to leave, he’ll deal with whatever.   
    
“I’m sorry,” Zayn interrupts, cutting off the client - Jefferson? no that’s not right either - in mid-sentence, “do you mind if I take this call? It’s from the office, very important.”   
    
“Of course, Mr. Malik,” the man smiles, and the look is so genuine that Zayn almost feels bad about not remembering his name, “always a pleasure catching up.”   
    
As the client walks away, Zayn turns to sit down at the table he, Louis, and Eleanor had claimed upon getting there, and opens his text message. He can’t help the growing smile on his face when he sees Liam’s name on the screen.   
    
_heyy babeeee. harry and niall ditched me for some concerttt :( you should come overrrr ;)_   
    
Zayn sighs and quickly replies.   
    
_can’t :( at some fundraiser thing :( super bored :((((_   
    
He gets one word for his answer.   
    
_ditch ;)_   
    
Zayn sits there for a minute and thinks about it. It’s a simple solution really. He doesn’t want to be at the party so what’s the obvious answer? Leave. He’s been there for almost two hours now, and he’s talked to a few people, chatted with Simon for a bit. He should be in the clear. Spending the rest of the night at Liam’s sounds way more appealing than sitting here bored out of his mind.   
    
It only takes a few more seconds for him to make up his mind and before he has time to second guess himself, Zayn sends a quick text to Louis that says, _heading to liam’s. cover for me if anyone asks where i am. have fun with el :)_   
    
He sends another text to Liam saying he’ll be over in a few minutes and quickly sneaks out before anyone can see him leaving.   
    
\--   
    
Louis has the keys to his car so Zayn takes a cab to Liam’s apartment. The drive’s not very long, but it’s enough to get him buzzing at what he just did. Ditching a benefit gala is definitely not the most rebellious thing he’s ever done - to be honest, it doesn’t even make the top twenty - but been awhile since he’s taken any kind of risk, and it feels nice to do something just because he wants to and not because he has to.   
    
The elevator in Liam’s apartment is broken, but that’s okay because Zayn has all this pent up energy and he takes the stairs two at a time all the way up to Liam’s floor. Liam opens the door with a big smile on his face that Zayn immediately envelops in an enthusiastic kiss.   
    
They’re both a bit breathless by the time Liam pulls back and says, “Hi. You seem excited tonight.”   
    
“Just happy to see you,” Zayn grins walking into Liam’s apartment and closing the door behind him with a gentle kick.   
    
“I’m happy to see you too,” Liam giggles, leaning down to join their lips together again.   
    
One of Zayn’s favorite parts about kissing Liam is that Liam kisses enthusiastically. It’s all teeth and tongue and little finesse, but it’s fun and it’s playful and it always leaves Zayn with a smile on his face. Everything about Liam is fun and young and it makes Zayn feel younger too. He knows he’s not that old, but it’s easy to forget when he’s swamped down with work and feeling forty-two instead of twenty-three.   
    
Pressed up against Liam like this, a hand warm on his hip and his own tangled loosely in Liam’s curls, Zayn feels relaxed and at ease and just so _content_ that it’s ridiculous that he was ever living his life any other way.   
    
Zayn pulls away first this time, but it’s not long before he’s leaving a trail of soft kisses along the curve of Liam’s jaw and down the column of his neck. It’s hard to believe there was ever a time that Zayn felt that kissing Liam might be a bit inappropriate. It’s really the only thing he wants to do these days.   
    
“Mm, can we move this inside?” Liam hums out, craning his neck and allowing better access to Zayn’s lips.   
    
“If we must,” Zayn agrees, biting playfully at where Liam’s collarbone is exposed from the stretched out neck of his t-shirt.   
    
Zayn follows Liam into the small living room and they both tumble down onto the beat up couch, Zayn falling mostly onto Liam’s lap. It’s only seconds before Zayn’s lips are back on Liam’s throat, biting the skin and then soothing the sting with a lick of his tongue.   
    
Liam’s groaning underneath him, making these totally obscene sounds that make Zayn feel hot and bubbly beneath his skin. It’s pure elation and Zayn wants _moremoremore_.   
    
There’s a tug at the short hairs on the nape of his neck and Zayn lifts his head until his lips catch onto Liam’s again. He sucks teasingly on Liam’s bottom lip, pushing down on his chest until Liam’s lying flat on the sofa, Zayn’s knees on either side of his hips.   
    
Zayn can feel one of Liam’s hands underneath his shirt, warm and flat against his back, fingers brushing along his spine and making him shiver. He’s about to just take the shirt off, fingers already reaching for the hem when he hears loud laughter from the hallway and the doorknob start to jiggle.   
    
“Shit, not now,” Liam groans, “they said they’d be out most of the night.”   
    
As much as Liam talks about Niall and Harry, Zayn realizes with a start that he’s never actually met either of the two. They‘re always conveniently out whenever Zayn comes over, rather at the beach or a concert or golfing together. He’s seen pictures of them, of course, on Liam’s phone and Facebook and around the apartment, but this will be the first time he’ll be seeing them in person.   
    
Zayn doesn’t have much time to react before Niall and Harry are stumbling into the living room, bright smiles and loud laughter until they notice him and Liam on the couch together. Harry’s face changes to something cheekier and Niall’s can only be described as shocked.   
    
“Liam,” he says, eyes wide and on Zayn who’s starting to think it might be a good time to get off of Liam, “Zayn Malik is in our living room.”   
    
“Really, Niall? I hadn’t noticed.”   
    
“No,” Niall protests, “I don’t think you understand Liam. _Zayn Malik_ is _straddling you_ in our _living room_.”   
    
And yeah, okay, definitely time to get up now. Zayn starts to crawl off Liam’s lap, allowing him to sit up as well and take a seat more comfortably next to him on the sofa.   
    
“I think I might understand the situation a bit better than you do,” Liam replies, and Zayn can’t help but smirk when he notices Liam readjust himself subtly.   
    
“Didn’t you tell them we were dating?” Zayn asks, smiling. They’d discussed this, of course, letting Liam’s roommates know about their relationship. Zayn only thought it was fair that they did considering Zayn’s friends knew.   
    
He didn’t really plan on meeting them for the first the time quite like this, but the situation’s really not as horrific as he first thought it would be. Actually the look on Niall’s face gets more amusing every second.   
    
“Oh, he did,” Harry says, elbowing Niall in the stomach, “I think actually seeing it in action just put Niall into a state of shock. I’m Harry by the way.” He comes over and takes a seat next to Liam on the couch, holding a friendly hand out to Zayn.   
    
Zayn gives a firm shake before answering, “Zayn. Though I think that was made pretty obvious already.”   
    
Something must snap inside of Niall then because his blue eyes widen just a bit further before he gives a furious shake of his head like he’s trying to clear his thoughts. “Oh my God, I’m sorry I’m being such a weirdo. I’m Niall. I’m just, um a huge fan of your work. You’re like a legend.”   
    
“Hardly,” Zayn laughs, “but thanks, I guess.”   
    
Niall smiles wide, all teeth and brightness, before taking a seat on the floor, leaning comfortably against Harry’s legs.   
    
“So, what exactly are you guys doing back so early?” Liam asks, turning towards his friends. His back is mostly pressing against Zayn’s chest and Zayn slings an arm around his shoulders, causing him to snuggle in deeper.   
    
The grin Harry was wearing turns a bit sheepish and Niall booms out a loud laugh.   
    
“Harry here almost got into a fight.”   
    
“Again?” Liam says, his voice half fond and half exasperated.   
    
“It’s not my fault!” Harry exclaims, obviously flustered. “There was this girl dancing with Niall -”   
    
“You almost got into a fight with a _girl_?”   
    
Harry glares but the look is hardly threatening at all, even when he punches Liam in the thigh. “No! It turned out this girl had a boyfriend who was not so happy that she was going around dancing with other guys.”   
    
“Harry was trying to protect me,” Niall grins, patting Harry’s foot. “I pulled him out before anything could happen though. Didn’t need The Bait Shop permanently banning us or some shit like that.”   
    
An argument starts up between the two of them from there, something about whether or not they’d really be kicked out when it was obvious the manager had a thing for Niall. Zayn smiles as he listens. There’s something about their affectionate teasing that reminds him of himself and Louis, and he can tell why Liam cares so much for them.   
    
“What do you think of them?” Liam asks softly, a bit of hesitance in his eyes that Zayn usually doesn’t see.   
    
Zayn snuggles his nose into Liam’s neck before placing a comforting kiss to the soft spot behind his ear. “They’re great. I love them already.”   
    
Liam beams at that, smile so bright it practically hurts and leans up a bit awkwardly to kiss Zayn on the mouth. “Good, because they mean the world to me,” he mumbles against Zayn’s lips.   
    
“Ugh, stop being all coupley,” Niall protests, elbowing Liam in the shin, “do that on your own time.”   
    
“This was our own time before you idiots interrupted.” Liam retaliates by kicking Niall in the side just hard enough to make him squirm.   
    
“And now it’s all of our time!” Harry exclaims, reaching down and grabbing the arm Niall was swinging out to take a swipe back at Liam. “So let’s do something we can all enjoy that doesn’t involve beating each other up. How ‘bout a movie?”   
    
Niall grumbles something out under his breath but ultimately agrees. They pop in _Iron Man_ and order dinner (two pizzas - one cheese and one for Niall with an odd assortment of toppings that Zayn might have enjoyed back in his own college days but would probably just make him sick now).   
    
Harry and Niall argue a lot during the film and Zayn watches them with amusement, occasionally choosing sides that have the opposing party scoffing in indignation. Some point during the night Liam kicks Harry off the couch and stretches along it himself, still leaning comfortably into Zayn’s side. Harry doesn’t seem to mind and curls up on the floor, head in Niall’s lap with Niall running his fingers through his hair. The scene seems very familiar, and Zayn feels like they’ve done exactly this a thousand times before.   
    
Louis texts a few times during the night, at first angry with Zayn for ditching, but then just with updates on what’s happening at the party (nothing all that exciting - no community-shattering scandals revealed). Niall has another fanboy moment when he realizes who it is that Zayn’s texting and even asks if he can meet Louis one day.   
    
“Of course,” Zayn laughs. “The five of us can hang out one day when Lou and I aren’t too busy. He’ll love it.”   
    
Niall grins so hard at that that Zayn’s sort of afraid his face is going to break. “Oh my God that would be so great. Like you don’t even understand.”   
    
Somewhere in the middle of _Iron Man 2_ , Zayn starts to doze off, the food in his belly and the heat from Liam’s body making him drowsy. Liam’s nodding off too, head on Zayn’s shoulder, and when Niall and Harry both fall asleep, he looks up at Zayn with sleepy eyes and asks shyly, “Spend the night tonight?”   
    
Zayn decides he really likes this Liam, the one that’s soft and sleepy and a little bit more bashful than usual. He of course loves the one that’s confident and fun and just a bit cheeky, but this one is nice as well. “Yeah, of course. I’d love that.”   
    
On the way to Liam’s room they turn off the TV and leave Niall and Harry as a mess of sleeping limbs on the floor. Liam gives Zayn a change of clothes - a t-shirt that’s a bit too big and soft worn pajama pants that all smell very much like Liam - and they both slip into bed, too tired to do much other than snuggle and share a few lazy kisses.   
    
Zayn falls asleep with Liam pressed flush against his back, arm curled over his waist protectively. He’s pretty sure it’s the best he sleeps in ages.   
    
\--   
    
Zayn turns it into a habit, sneaking off to Liam’s when he’s supposed to be at fancy parties or charity events. He knows it’s a bad idea, he really does, but he just can’t help it.   
    
It’s so much more enjoyable, being with Liam, sharing kisses on the couch and eating terrible food while they watch crap made-for-TV movies. Doesn’t even compare to expensive wine and tiny appetizers that probably cost more than everything Liam owns.   
    
He shows his face at a few of them of course, the most important ones. Usually Zayn’s only there for a couple of hours though before he’s sneaking off to Liam’s. Louis’ pissed the first few times, especially when Eleanor’s too busy with the restaurant her family owns to keep him company.   
    
The first time Louis leaves with Zayn, it’s at a charity event thrown by one of the Newpsies recovering from some alcoholism scare. It seems like the whole town is there, and Zayn is getting antsy, shaking hands and putting on fake smiles for big businessmen who he knows too much about to fully like. Eleanor’s on vacation with her family and Louis is just as bored as Zayn without anyone to dance with or drink with.   
    
“I think I’m gonna head out,” Zayn says turning to Louis after the host announces the enormous amount of money they’ve earned for a spectacular cause.   
    
“Oh, hell no,” Louis glares, “you’re not leaving me here alone. I’m coming with you this time.”   
    
Zayn raises an eyebrow and shrugs. He doesn’t blame Louis for wanting to ditch as well. It must be hell having to sit through something like alone. “If you want, it’s fine with me.”   
    
They say their goodbyes to a few people and sneak off quickly. Once they’re in the car and driving away from the noise of the party, Zayn sends Liam a text.   
    
_you home? coming over with lou :)_   
    
Liam’s reply comes quickly.   
    
_ill make surr to get nialler some diapers incase he shits himself from excitmentttt :P_   
    
As expected, Niall’s quite surprised when he opens the door in nothing but his boxers and loose tanktop. His reaction is quite similar to the day he first walked in on Zayn and Liam and Zayn finds it no less amusing the second time around.   
    
“Liam,” he calls, eyes wide, “Louis Tomlinson is at the door.”   
    
“Yes he is, Niall.”   
    
“Why is Louis Tomlinson at our door?” Niall asks, still staring at Louis who’s sending confused looks at Zayn.   
    
“Louis Tomlinson is about to be at the door of his car instead of the door of your apartment if you don’t let him in,” Louis replies after Zayn does nothing but shrug.   
    
Niall blushes and jumps in surprise. “Shit. I mean fuck sorry. Come in, come in.”   
    
After Niall’s over his initial shock at meeting not one, but two of his heroes, Louis starts to fall into the little group easily. He finds Niall’s fawning and basically everything Harry does endearing. Zayn thinks something about it just feels right, him cuddled up close to Liam on the floor while the other three fight over the couch and argue about the abilities of their favorite soccer teams.   
    
It becomes sort of a thing, the five of them hanging out. Louis jokes that they should start finding friends their own age but Zayn doesn’t see the point when he’s more than happy with what they have. He’s pretty sure Louis’ in no hurry to find other friends either, not with how often he goes surfing with Liam in the morning or how Harry actually manages to drag him out to golf at the fancy country club his dad is part of one evening when Niall is visiting family and he has no one to go with.   
    
(Louis is actually very much shit at golf and despises it with a passion despite the fact both of his parents play basically every weekend. The only time he ever agrees to go is when it’s necessary to woo picky clients and Zayn’s pretty sure the fact that Harry convinced him to go is a sign of the impending apocalypse. He gets his Emergency Earthquake Preparation Kit out that night just in case).   
    
Even when they’re being buried in work, Zayn and Louis find themselves at Liam’s, using the small floor space in the living room as their thinking area. Zayn prefers it to working alone at their place or in the office. It’s easier to think with Liam there, keeping his head clear and calm, and Niall’s beyond brilliant, often finding solutions to problems that they never would’ve been able to think of on their own. One of Zayn’s favorite nights is when Louis looks at Niall with hearts in his eyes after he finally finds a way to fix the budgeting in the low-income housing project. He tells Niall that there’s a future for him in this business, possibly even at Malik Developments, and the look Niall returns is so bright, Zayn’s pretty sure it could cure cancer or homelessness or world hunger or something.   
    
The summer passes by a bit too quickly for Zayn, and things change a little when Liam, Harry, and Niall start school again at the end of August. Liam takes fewer shifts at the coffee shop and starts spending more time on campus, at class or studying or practicing with the cross country team. He’s mainly only home at night or on weekends.   
    
Zayn misses being able to visit Liam whenever he wanted at the coffee shop when things just started to feel like too much. He still goes down there every once in a while, but it’s not the same without Liam behind the counter, singing softly as he makes drinks or coming over to cuddle with him on the couch when there are no customers to tend to.   
    
He’s found a new way to unwind after long days though. Nights when he comes home (and that’s what he thinks of Liam’s apartment as now – home) wired and restless, he and Liam lock themselves behind Liam’s door and fall into bed together, sharing heated kisses.   
    
Liam is all soft skin and hard muscle that Zayn wants to just _touch_ all the time. Zayn loves Liam’s deep moans and the hitches in his breath when he slips his hand underneath the waistband of Liam’s sweats and wraps a hand around his cock. He loves wrapping his mouth around Liam and watching him come apart and hearing his broken voice call out Zayn’s name.   
    
The first time things get that far, Zayn’s a bit hesitant about it all, not wanting to push Liam into something he’s not ready for. Liam just flips them over with a roll of his eyes, sliding off Zayn’s boxer briefs with a swift motion and when Zayn’s seeing stars a few minutes later, he’s pretty sure he has nothing to worry about.   
    
When he’s lying in bed, sticky with sweat and come, Liam tucked into his side, Zayn feels loose and relaxed and for a while, completely satisfied with everything in his life.   
    
\--   
    
In mid-September, there’s a joint party at the Bait Shop for Liam and Niall’s birthdays, complete with live music by some group that Zayn’s never heard of.   
    
(“Death Cab for Cutie,” Harry announces excitedly, basically bouncing on the balls on his feet when he tells Zayn and Louis about it one day during dinner.   
    
“Is that a band?” Louis asks, nose scrunched up in confusion as Niall and Liam shake their head in warning.   
    
Harry’s eyes widen immediately. “They are only one of the best bands in the history of ever.”   
    
“I’ve never heard of them,” Louis shrugs, “so they must not be that great.”   
    
Niall actually literally face-palms behind Louis when Harry shoots up from his seat in indignation. “Now you’ve done it, Lou. He’s gonna make us listen to every Death Cab album ever made now. I don’t know if I can sit through this again.”   
    
Sure enough, Harry connects his iPhone to the speaker system and makes them sit through the entire discography of the band, with running commentary on every song. Louis grumbles through the whole thing, but Zayn has to admit they’re not bad, though not really his thing.)   
    
It’s probably bad how little it takes to convince Zayn to go. He knows it’s a bad idea. The majority of Liam’s peers from his small, private college are the children of Newport’s most influential. It’s not a stretch to fear that they might recognize him, especially when he’s met some of them personally through their parents.   
    
Liam asks him to come sometime in the middle of Death Cab’s second album, eyes wide and earnest. Zayn shoots down the idea almost immediately, and the disappointment radiating off Liam almost hurts. From there all it takes is pouty lips pressing kisses to the corner of his mouth and whispering that it would mean the world if he’s there please please please it’s one night it’ll be okay and Zayn breaks down and agrees reluctantly.   
The party is all loud music and colorful drinks and the kind of fun Zayn hasn’t had since his own college days. The night is a bit of a blur to be honest, and all he really remembers is dancing pressed close to Liam and later grabbing his hand and dragging him into the small bathroom in the back where he locked them both in a stall and silently thanked God that the floors were relatively clean as he got on his knees.   
    
The next morning Zayn wakes up to a pounding headache and a call from the Newport Group. He thinks he’s agreed to go to a benefit dinner that night, but it’s hard to remember when his head is swimming from both his killer hangover and the way Liam slips between his legs and bites at the inside of his thighs before messily wrapping his mouth around his cock.   
    
They spend most of the day like that, rolling around in bed until Louis’ pounding on the door, threatening to break it down because they have to go to that dinner.   
    
Zayn reluctantly gets up to shower, and when he returns, Liam’s still in his bed, wearing a pair of his boxers low on his hips and scrolling mindlessly through his phone.   
    
“Wow, you look good,” Liam says, eyes wide when he looks up to observe Zayn in his suit and tie. “Real professional. I like it.”   
Zayn shrugs, straightening his tie in the mirror. “I guess. I like what you’re wearing better.”   
    
Liam giggles and crawls out of bed to come behind Zayn, wrapping arms around his waist and hooking his chin over his shoulder. Zayn doesn’t even care that his nicely pressed suit is probably getting all wrinkled, it’s just nice being in Liam’s arms. It feels right.   
    
“How long is this dinner going to be for?” Liam asks, his breath hot against Zayn’s neck and making him shiver involuntarily.   
    
“For a while probably. I would skip out like usual, but since it’s the Newport Group we should try to stick through most of it. Important to stay on this guy’s good side, y’know?”   
    
“I wish I could go with you,” Liam sighs.   
Zayn turns around, leaning against his dresser. He hooks his fingers beneath the elastic of Liam’s boxers and pulls him forward, connecting their lips in a quick kiss. “No you don’t, these dinners are really boring, trust me. I’d rather stay here with you anyway.”   
  
“I just want to be part of all this,” Liam frowns, “want to be with you like El is with Louis. Want to dance with you in front of everyone and make fun of Newpsies and just _be there_.”   
    
Liam moves closer to Zayn who tugs him into his arms. Zayn hates seeing Liam like this, all small and insecure and just _sad_. It hurts like nothing else and feels even worse because he could do something about it, and instead he’s just being a selfish little bitch and only thinking about _his_ reputation and _his_ company and _his_ fears and not about Liam.   
    
“I want you to be there too,” Zayn says softly, rubbing soothing circles into Liam’s back, “it’s just –“   
    
“I can’t,” Liam finishes, burying his face in Zayn’s neck. “I get it. I just. Wish it was different.”   
    
“Me too. I promise, Liam. One day, everyone’s going to know about us. I’ll bring you to all my fancy parties and introduce you to everyone and show off my hot college boyfriend and everyone will talk and I won’t care because I know it’s just because they’re jealous. It just. Can’t be today.”   
    
Zayn means it too, every last word. One day when he’s ready and when this merger goes through ( _if_ this merger goes through) and he’s not so hung up on the company’s image and what people and think and just _everything_ it will all be okay.   
    
\--   
    
The benefit dinner they go to is for, of all things, sea otters, and as far as benefit dinners go, it’s not terrible. The crowd is full of younger people, mostly late twenties to mid-thirties, the music is upbeat and fun, and the food is much better than the usual fancy stuff that’s generally served. Not to mention that the booze is just flowing, and Zayn is not hesitant to admit that is always a plus.   
    
Zayn always forgets that the CEO of the Newport Group is not much older than he is, and that a few years ago, he was in the same exact place as Zayn. If anything, he probably had it worse considering he wasn’t even from Newport and had been constantly under the public’s eye after moving here from Chino in his high school days. Zayn doesn’t know too much about the guy’s past or how he came to inherit the Newport Group, but like everyone else, he’s quite aware that it was not easy.   
    
He’s a bit reluctant to admit it, but Zayn thinks he might actually be enjoying himself a little. Even after talking to the CEO’s secretary and setting up a date to discuss the merger, Zayn’s feeling relaxed, and he finds himself laughing and chatting amicably with a variety of people.   
    
Eleanor comes to find him when he’s sitting at the table they claimed earlier, talking to a son of one of their first clients. Louis’ nowhere in sight and the tight lines around El’s mouth set Zayn on edge for the first time all night.   
    
“What’s wrong?” Zayn asks with a frown after Eleanor’s politely pulled him away from the conversation he was having just a second ago.   
    
Eleanor shuffles a bit nervously, biting down on the corner of her lip. “So, I was sitting around with some of the junior Newpsies over there,” Eleanor starts, motioning to the group of young women sitting a few tables behind them, all clearly drunk and giggling loudly as they lean close to each other to share gossip, “and they were talking shit, like usual. You know, that guy slept with that girl, this woman’s husband left her, nothing out of the ordinary. But then they uh, started talking about you.”   
    
“About me?” Zayn repeats, because wait what. Zayn makes it his mission to keep out of the gossip circle. Basically everything he does is to make sure that there’s nothing interesting enough in his life to talk about. “What were they saying?”   
    
“Somebody said they heard from a friend of a cousin’s or some crap that they saw you the other day. At the Bait Shop. With Liam.”   
    
Zayn feels his stomach drop and it starts to get a little hard to breathe. He knew he shouldn’t have gone out with Liam that night, knew it was terrible idea. This was exactly the kind of thing he was trying to avoid. Forget about the company and his reputation and all that shit, he just didn’t want people to know yet. He wasn’t ready for it. Just the idea of everything he’d have to deal with is making him feel too warm and like his clothes are suddenly two sizes too small.   
    
“I told them it was probably bullshit,” Eleanor says quickly, and by the way her eyes widen, Zayn’s pretty sure the panic he’s starting to feel is clear on his face. “They asked me about it since they know we’re friends. Told them whoever saw you there was probably drunk and confused because you were home with me and Louis that night.”   
    
“Did they believe you?” Zayn asks weakly.   
    
Eleanor nods. “I think so. But you know how these things are. Once it’s out there, it’s out there.”   
    
Zayn tries hard to suppress the distressed moan building in his throat. He knows all too well that what Eleanor said is true – that’s why he was trying so hard to keep things from getting out there in the first place.   
    
\--   
    
They leave soon after that, Zayn sitting alone in the backseat, head pressed against the cool glass of the window. Louis and Eleanor talk in hushed whispers the whole way back, words that Zayn can’t hear even if he wanted to.   
    
Zayn’s silent on the elevator ride up to their apartment, and despite Louis and Eleanor’s worried glances, doesn’t say a word until he’s closed the door to his room behind him. He’s unsurprised to find that Liam’s still there. He must’ve gone home at some point though because he’s in a fresh change of clothes and has got one of his text books opened on his lap.   
    
The glazed look on Liam’s face disappears as soon as Zayn steps into the room, but the brief moment of happiness is quickly replaced by concern. The scene reminds Zayn of that first day in the coffee shop when he had been in a near state of panic after the merger hadn’t worked out as planned. Just like that day, seeing Liam is making it a little easier for Zayn to breathe. Not for the first time he wonders why it is that Liam has this effect on him.   
    
“What’s wrong?” Liam asks worriedly, closing his textbook and setting it on the bedside table.   
    
Zayn feels a little ridiculous, standing there with his tie loose and the first few buttons of his shirt undone. He’s pretty sure his hair is a mess from all the times he’s run his fingers through it and his bottom lip is probably distressed because he’s a got a bad habit of biting it when he’s nervous.   
    
Nothing is _wrong_ exactly, and he knows that. There were rumors. There are always rumors. Usually not about him, but still. Zayn hates that he gets this way sometimes. Hates that he lets these things affect him even though he should just learn to deal with them.   
    
Seeing Liam there, forehead crinkled and eyebrows furrowed in concern, Zayn thinks that maybe he can learn to let these things go. Or at least, try not to freak out as _much_ when they happen. Liam makes it feel like all the bad things happening in life aren’t really all that bad at all. That he can deal with these things if, at the very least, Liam is there supporting him.   
    
“Just some stuff that happened at the party. It’s uh, not that big of a deal,” Zayn finally manages. “It’s not important now. Really.”   
    
He’s pretty sure Liam’s not buying it from the way he’s narrowing his eyes at Zayn. “Are you sure?”   
    
Zayn nods once as he walks over and takes the empty spot beside Liam on the bed. “I’m sure.”   
    
Liam still doesn’t look very convinced but his face smooths out a little and he places a soft kiss on Zayn’s hairline.   
    
Things feel easier with Liam, but Zayn’s not all too convinced himself that everything will be alright. Underneath the current warmth and calmness, there’s panic itching underneath his skin at what he’ll have to face when this all finally comes out.   
    
\--   
    
Zayn throws himself back into his work for a while, meeting with clients and perfecting his next presentation for the Newport Group. It’s a nice distraction to be honest. Sure, going over numbers and sweet-talking the biggest names in Newport is certainly a pain in the ass, but it’s something that Zayn’s familiar with and definitely something he’s good at.   
    
Liam’s busy too with his classes picking up and cross country practices getting more frequent as the state qualifiers loom ever closer. Zayn goes days without seeing him, and sometimes gets nothing more than a few texts or a short phone call. He’s pretty sure it’s not healthy how being away from Liam sets him on edge a bit. There’s always a bit of a tightness in his chest that doesn’t subside until he sees Liam’s terribly spelled messages on his phone.   
    
Weekends that aren’t occupied with meetings or races are spent at Liam’s apartment. Zayn finds himself falling more in love not only with Liam, but also with Niall and Harry, and he’s pretty sure Louis feels the same way. The more time they’re all together, the more Zayn realizes things feel _right_ despite the obvious differences in their age and interests and occupations.   
    
As far as Zayn knows, there are no more rumors about him and Liam. He constantly thanks whatever god is out there that he has people like Eleanor and Perrie in his life who are quick with their wit and their tongues and can do much better damage control than any of the idiots in his PR department.   
    
Even then, Zayn’s extra cautious. Whenever Liam suggests that they go out somewhere during what little free time they have, Zayn quickly shoots down the idea, claiming he’d much rather stay in. Liam frowns a little whenever it happens, his irritation obvious, but Zayn always follows his insistences with hot, open-mouth kisses to Liam’s lips and jaw and neck, leaving him distracted and agreeable to anything Zayn suggests.   
    
Liam’s even more convincible when he comes home from a race, pumped with adrenaline and reeling off the high of a great run. It doesn’t take much for Zayn to get him behind closed doors where he’s able to strip him down and press kisses to every inch of his shower-damp skin. Zayn admits that those nights are some of the best, the ones where Liam is excited and full of energy that he takes out by leaving fingertip-shaped bruises on Zayn’s hips.   
    
“So, I was wondering,” Liam asks one of those nights, tracing the ink on Zayn’s arm subconsciously as they lay in bed, Zayn feeling completely blissed out and peaceful in Liam’s arms, “do you think you could come to my race in a couple weeks? It’s one of the biggest of the season and you’ve never, y’know, actually seen me run.”   
    
It’s like somebody takes a hammer and physically pounds the bliss out of Zayn’s system. His stomach gets all twisted with nervousness and he hates having to say no to Liam like this, hates it _so much_. “I don’t know, Liam. I just don’t think it’s such a –“   
    
“Good idea, yeah, I know,” Liam finishes, stiffening, fingers still lingering against Zayn’s skin. “It’s never a ‘good idea’.”   
    
Zayn turns around to face Liam and isn’t surprised by at all by the pissy look that Liam is giving him. “Liam –”   
    
“No, Zayn, whatever, it’s okay,” Liam snaps, surprising Zayn by pushing him away when he leans in to kiss him, “I get it. I’m just getting sort of tired of this. I understand why it’s important, the company and your image and everything. It’s just sort of hard, okay? Not getting to go out and having to keep things a secret. Having to keep _me_ a secret. Sometimes I feel like you don’t even _want_ people to know.”   
    
“Why wouldn’t I want people know?” Zayn asks, gaping at Liam. Zayn knew that Liam wasn’t totally okay with what was happening, that much was obvious, but he didn’t think that it had gotten this bad. One of Zayn’s greatest fears is that he’s pushing this too much, making Liam wait too long, and Liam will decide that it’s too much and tell Zayn that he can’t do this anymore. Zayn’s not sure what he’d do if Liam left him.   
    
“Sometimes it just feels like I’m not good enough,” Liam admits, his glare not nearly as effective because of the tremble in his voice. “You’re this big-shot CEO. One of Newport’s finest. And what am I? Just another college boy. How could I ever be good enough?”   
    
Zayn’s heart drops at that, his breath catching a bit in his throat. He doesn’t know what to say. Doesn’t know how to explain to Liam that everything about him is absolutely perfect. Doesn’t know what he would’ve done these last few months without Liam. Doesn’t know why he can’t tell people even though he desperately wants _everyone_ to know.   
    
“Liam, that’s not it at all –”   
    
“Maybe you should try harder to prove it then, Zayn,” Liam says quietly. “You can’t keep this a secret forever. I can’t wait for you forever.”   
    
It comes back, that panicked feeling Zayn gets sometimes where it’s hard for him to breathe and everything in his chest feels tight and hot. He wants to make Liam understand, _needs_ him to understand but he just doesn’t know what to say.   
    
“I don’t expect you to wait forever,” he finally breathes out because it’s the only thing he can think of. “I just wanted you to wait until I was ready.”   
    
Liam lets out a heavy sigh and leans his head back, eyes closed tight. “I know. I just want to know when that’ll be. At this point, it seems like forever might come first.”   
    
Zayn bites his lip, chews on the corner nervously. He’s at a loss for words honestly. There’s nothing he can think of to remedy this, to make Liam feel better. He doesn’t _know_ when he’ll be ready. It’s a huge step for him, a massive one, and it scares the shit out of him at best.   
    
They sit in silence for a bit, Zayn listening to Liam’s heavy breathing, trying to match it with his own. It’s the first time that he’s felt like this around Liam – totally wrecked, and not in the good way. He doesn’t like it and he wants it to stop. Wants to go back to feeling free and light and comfortable like he usually does around Liam.   
    
“I think maybe you should go,” Liam says after a while. “You have work in the morning. I have school. We should get some rest.”   
    
Zayn tries to mask his surprise because it’s the first time Liam’s ever actually told him to leave. He doesn’t argue though, just gives a short nod with his lips pressed together in a tight line.   
    
Before getting out of bed he gives Liam a short kiss and almost sighs in relief when he isn’t pushed away. It’s just a brushing of their lips but Zayn tries to keep it sweet and tender and hopes that it maybe says some of the things he’s too scared to say himself.   
    
\--   
    
It turns out that, on the day of Liam’s race, Zayn gets stuck in the office, working on a deal with Eleanor’s father regarding a chain of restaurants he wants to open along the west coast. Zayn, Louis, and Mr. Calder have been working on this project for ages, knowing full well that going through with it would benefit both Malik Developments and the Calders greatly.   
    
Zayn sends a quick _good luck <3_ to Liam before the meeting and gets a curt _thnx._ in reply that makes him sigh. He hadn’t expected much more, not when he and Liam had barely spoken since that night in Liam’s apartment. It’s all just been short texts and strained phone calls that leave Zayn with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.   
    
Zayn’s distracted practically the whole meeting, paying little attention to whatever it is Louis and Mr. Calder are talking about. He keeps checking his phone every few minutes, even though he knows there’s no point since Liam’s already at his race. Zayn’s not exactly sure what he’s hoping to see, but honestly he’ll take anything at this point.   
    
Louis nudges him in the ribs a few times to try to get his attention, and Zayn contributes here and there when necessary, but overall it’s obvious that his mind is miles away to where Liam is. He’s actually sort of surprised when Mr. Calder starts packing up his stuff and shakes Zayn’s hand with a smile and assurances that he’s happy with the progress they’ve made that day.   
    
“What’s wrong with you?” Louis asks sharply as soon as Mr. Calder’s out of the small conference room they were using. He’s using his CFO voice, the one that’s all serious and business-like and it makes Zayn feel guilty for not really being on top of things like he should be. “You’ve been out of it all day.”   
    
“Yeah, I’m sorry,” Zayn groans, plopping down on a chair. “Liam and I are sort of, I don’t know. Fighting I guess.”   
    
It’s like a switch is pulled and Louis’ business persona disappears, replaced immediately by the Louis that Zayn calls his best friend. Zayn’s always marveled at Louis’s ability to do that; he’d never had the opportunity to perfect it himself. “Is everything okay?”   
    
“Yes. No. I don’t know,” Zayn admits, unsure of what’s happening himself. It’s hard when he and Liam have barely spoken. He’s not even sure what he’s feeling, let alone what Liam is feeling. “Liam says he’s getting tired.”   
    
“Of what?”   
    
Zayn shrugs, laying his head on Louis’ shoulder and smiling slightly when Louis runs a hand through his hair comfortingly. “Everything. This whole _situation_ we’re in. I don’t even blame him. I know it sucks, I just don’t know what to do about it.”   
    
Louis hums in understanding. “Well, I have an idea, but you may not like it.”   
    
“What?” Zayn’s about ready to do anything at this point. Just. He wants everything to be okay again. He _needs_ everything to be okay again. Being in this sort of in-between place with Liam is absolutely terrible, almost worse than Liam just straight-up saying that it’s all over. At least then he would know how Liam feels and he could maybe possibly start to move on. Eventually.   
    
“You could go public with this. Even if you’re not ready, it’s obvious Liam is. I don’t think you have much of a choice,” Louis explains.   
    
Zayn buries his face further in Louis’ shoulder. He knows that Louis is right. It really does seem to be the last option. Zayn’s still afraid of what’s going to happen when this thing goes out to the public, but more than that he’s afraid of losing Liam.    
    
“I don’t think I have much of a choice either,” Zayn agrees. “Maybe you’re right.”   
    
Louis finally cracks a smile, nudging Zayn playfully. “I’m always right, remember?”   
    
Zayn shoves him back with a chuckle, mood lightening significantly because of Louis and his loud laughter and bright smiles that often remind him of Liam. Louis pounces at Zayn, but before the two of them can turn it into a full on play-fight, Perrie knocks on the door to the conference.   
    
“Um, sorry to interrupt you boys when you’re so busy,” she says, smiling amusedly at the way Louis’ got Zayn in a headlock, “but Zayn, you have someone waiting to meet you in your office.”   
    
“Do I have another meeting today?” Zayn asks, voice a bit strangled because of the way Louis’ got an arm pressed against his windpipe. He’s pretty sure he doesn’t. If there’s one thing Zayn’s really good at keeping track of, it’s when he’s got meetings. He doesn’t even want to think about what would happen if he went into a presentation or meeting totally unprepared. Might as well just have a paramedic on call in case he has a panic attack or something.   
    
“It was a surprise visitor. He’s quite eager to see you, too,” Perrie explains and Zayn thinks he sees her roll her eyes when he licks Louis’ arm in an attempt to break free.   
    
Louis yelps in surprise and Zayn breaks free with a triumphant grin. Perrie’s definitely rolling her eyes this time, but Zayn ignores it and instead focuses on fixing his hair and straightening out his tie so he doesn’t look like his CFO just had him in a headlock in their conference room.   
    
Zayn leaves Perrie and Louis whispering together excitedly behind him and wonders who his “surprise visitor” is. If it’s someone from the Newport Group, Zayn’s pretty sure he’s actually going to have a heart attack because he’s _definitely_ not prepared at all to give them their second presentation.   
    
The front of his office is made of glass, and even though it’s not a Newport Group representative, Zayn still nearly has a heart attack when he peers into it and sees who it is standing over his desk, back to the door.   
    
“Liam,” Zayn exclaims, walking into the office and quickly closing the door behind him. He doesn’t think about it, just walks straight into Liam’s arms and wraps himself around him, breathing in the familiar scent he’s missed the last couple of weeks.   
    
"Hi," Liam replies a bit nervously. He's practically buzzing though, and Zayn's sure he just finished his race because his short curls are still a bit damp from his shower and he smells strongly of his favorite body wash and shampoo.   
    
"How was your race?" Zayn asks, pulling away.   
    
"It was brilliant," Liam beams, nervousness gone for a second. "I broke the school record and coach says I'm a shoe-in for states. Possibly even regionals."   
    
"That's amazing," Zayn grins, chest swelling with pride. "Uh, not that I'm not happy to see you or anything, but what are you doing here?"   
    
Liam shuffles his feet a bit and bites down on his lower lip. "I just really wanted to see you. And also say that I'm sorry. The other night I was just upset I guess. I know that you care about me and that you want this to work. But sometimes it just gets really hard y'know?"   
    
Zayn grabs Liam's hands, intertwining their fingers. "I should be the one that's apologizing Liam, not you. What you said and what you did wasn't even a bit out of line. I've been really dumb about this. Hiding this when all I want is for people to know about us. Things are going to change soon, I promise.”   
    
Liam beams at that, so fucking bright and happy that it almost hurts. He’s practically radiating joy, and it’s so much stronger than a few minutes ago when he was talking about his race. Zayn can’t help but smile too, grin so hard that his cheeks hurt.   
    
“So, I was thinking,” Liam says, still with that huge smile on his face, “we could do something today. To celebrate. I checked with Perrie, and she says you’re free for the rest of the day.”   
    
“Yeah, that’d be brilliant,” Zayn replies, grabbing his keys from the top drawer of his desk. Now that Liam’s with him and everything feels okay, there’s a weight lifted off his chest that he hadn’t even realized was there. It’s suddenly a little easier for him to breathe.   
    
He thinks about where they could go, mentally makes a list of places he knows people don’t frequent, but then he stops. Louis’ words ring in his head. Maybe he should do what he’s good at and take a risk. Make that first step to going public. The idea scares him a bit, but Louis’ right. There’s really no other choice.   
    
“There’s somewhere I’ve been wanting to take you for a while,” Zayn says, making up his mind. “It’d be perfect for today.”   
    
“Where?” Liam asks curiously, taking hold of Zayn’s outstretched hand as they walk out of the office.   
    
Zayn shoots Liam a sly grin that quickly turns to a laugh when he gets a pout in return. Through his laughter all he can manage out is, “You’ll see.”   
    
\--   
    
The drive’s not long, just a few turns and they’re cruising down familiar roads that Zayn barely bothers to visit anymore but remembers vividly from his childhood. They pass the neighborhood Zayn grew up in, one filled with the McMansions typical in this part of Newport, and also his old school and some of his favorite spots to spend the days with Danny and Ant when they were growing up together.   
    
Zayn doesn’t stop the car until they’re pulling into the lot of a public park. There’s a playground, kids swinging on the jungle gym as tired-looking nannies take a break and chat among themselves, keeping a not-so-keen eye on the children. A group of middle schoolers are playing a pick-up game of basketball on the small court and there are plenty of people milling around, walking their dogs or jogging or just sitting outside and enjoying the nice California weather.   
    
“Come on,” Zayn says, grabbing Liam’s hand and bringing him down the cement path that leads farther into the park.   
    
Liam doesn’t say anything, just smiles contently, looking around him. It’s the most public place they’ve ever been together, plenty of people around to recognize Zayn, especially now that he’s back where he grew up. Oddly enough, Zayn finds he’s not as nervous as he usually is. Zayn’s just glad that Liam’s with him, hand warm and strong in his own. It’s enough to keep his usual panic under wraps.   
    
They stop when they get to a huge tree at the far end of the park. Even after all these years, Zayn’s not really sure what kind of tree it is, but it’s got a thick trunk and fat branches topped with leaves donning their bright fall colors.   
    
“So, this is my tree,” Zayn says, patting the rough bark with a fond smile. “Y’know, the one I mentioned?”   
    
“During our first date,” Liam smiles, putting his hand alongside Zayn’s, “I remember.”   
    
“Lots of good memories with this guy. Definitely some bad one’s as well. I have my name carved in here somewhere,” Zayn circles the tree with a scrutinizing eye, until he finally finds the lighter lines where his name is scribbled messily. “Here it is.”   
    
Liam traces his fingers over the fading lines, and Zayn wonders what he’s thinking as feels the roughness on his skin. “There are other names here too,” he finally says, looking closer.   
    
“Danny’s and Ant’s. Before I met Louis they were the most permanent thing in my life. I love those boys. Louis couldn’t have that, of course, so the first thing he did when he came here was add his name. I’m glad he did, though. Wouldn’t feel right without it.” Zayn explains, mimicking Liam’s actions and running his fingers over the other names etched into the bark. He remembers clearly both days when his favorite people had stood beside him, worked hard to mark their place.   
    
There’s a determined look on Liam faces when he takes a hand off the tree and starts looking around at the ground around him. Zayn watches him with a tilt of his head, and it’s not until Liam picks up a sharp rock, eyes alight, that Zayn figures out what’s happening.   
    
Right next to Zayn’s name, Liam carves in his own, the lines messy but prominent. After adding a little plus sign between the names and a heart at the end of his, he steps back and admires his work proudly.   
    
Zayn feels something swell in his chest, seeing Liam’s name there with his own. The tightening of his lungs is familiar, but emotion behind them is not. He’s not exactly sure what he’s feeling, but he thinks Liam’s name looks perfect etched into the bark, and Zayn can’t imagine how the tree ever looked complete without it.   
    
The smile on Liam’s face slips off when he glances at Zayn, who’s still standing there overtaken by about a million different feelings. “Oh my God, was that not okay? I’m really sorry if that was a bit forward or weird or whatever,” Liam sputters out.   
    
He looks like he’s about to continue with his apologies but Zayn grabs his arm, pulling him in until they’re pressed together, lips joined. “No, it was totally fine. I’m glad you did it.”   
    
Liam breathes out a sigh of relief, pulls him in until Liam’s sandwiched between Zayn and the tree and they’re pressed together everywhere. Zayn kisses him eagerly, nipping at Liam’s bottom lip and sliding their tongues together until Liam pulls away, breathless.   
    
“Probably not the best place to be doing this,” Liam giggles.   
    
Zayn responds by pressing his face against the crook of Liam’s neck, placing a small kiss on the soft skin there. “Yeah, probably not.”   
    
“So what do you usually do here?” Liam asks, pushing Zayn away lightly and making him pout.   
    
“Uh, when I’m by myself? I read or draw or just listen to music. Louis and I play soccer a lot. Sometimes we just take walks. Whatever fits the mood I guess,” Zayn shrugs.   
    
“You play soccer?” Liam laughs. “I’m sorry, I can’t see it.”   
    
Zayn crosses his arms indignantly just a little bit offended. Maybe he really should lay off those muffins. “Excuse me, Mr. Cross Country Star. I can be athletic too.”   
    
“I won’t believe it until I see it.”   
    
Zayn glares and walks off in the opposite direction, back to where they parked. Liam calls out a surprised, “Hey!”, and follows him, catching up quickly. Zayn ignores him until they reach the car and pops open the trunk. It takes a little bit of digging around (neither him nor Louis are the most _organized_ of people to be honest), but he finds a soccer ball hidden in the back under a pair of Louis’ sweatpants.   
    
“Let’s play then,” Zayn finally says, putting the ball arm under his arm and grinning up at Liam.   
    
“Why do you have a soccer ball in your trunk?”   
    
Zayn shrugs. “We all have our ways of unwinding. Louis’ is going to the rec-center down the street from our office and shooting goals. He played in high school and college, was completely amazing at it too. Coach said he probably could’ve gone pro. Chose the corporate life instead though.”   
    
“Does he ever regret it?” Liam asks curiously, taking the ball from Zayn and spinning it in his hands.   
    
“Not for a single second,” Zayn replies, leading Liam out to the empty field by his tree. “Louis’ one of those people who would never be doing something with their lives if they weren’t absolutely sure they loved it. Yeah being a CFO is shit sometimes, but Louis’ into that kind of stuff, always has been. Sort of like Niall.”   
    
Liam nods seriously but then changes his face into something more playful. “So how are we doing this Mr. CEO?”   
    
Zayn laughs and grabs the ball, juggling it on his knees and grinning at Liam’s shocked face. He explains the parameters he and Louis usually play by, pointing out the natural goal markers.   
    
“Loser pays for dinner,” Zayn grins after he’s made sure Liam knows all the rules they usually play by.   
    
“I hope you brought your wallet then,” Liam says, grabbing the ball with a quick kiss and kicking it towards the goal with no warning. Zayn yelps, running after him in surprise.   
    
Neither of them have any reluctance to play dirty. There’s pushing and shoving and Zayn gets so many grass stains on his crisp white shirt that he’s pretty sure it’ll never be clean again. His tie gets thrown off to the side after Liam grabs it to pull him into a messy kiss and steal the ball from underneath his feet.   
    
Zayn feels so young and happy, running around with Liam, bodies pressing against each other as they struggle for the ball. It’s exhilarating and so much more _fun_ than Zayn’s had in ages.   
    
At some point Zayn trips Liam (totally unintentionally, of course) and they both end up on the ground, Liam grabbing onto Zayn on his way down. They roll around, scuffling with each other until Zayn ends up underneath Liam, arms pinned down and ball long forgotten.   
    
Liam’s looking down at him with a playful grin and Zayn’s about to pull him down for a kiss when someone clears their throat off to the side.   
    
Zayn turns his head quickly and shit. There’s a reporter standing right beside them, press pass hanging off her neck as she looks down at them amusedly. Zayn recognizes her, has seen her at plenty of press conferences and knows that as far as journalists go, she’s not too bad, but even then, shit.   
    
Liam jumps up quickly, grabbing Zayn’s arm and pulling him up too, letting go as soon as they’re both standing. Zayn’s heart is pounding in his chest as he licks his lips nervously trying to figure out some way to spin what was just witnessed into something else. His mind’s pretty much coming up blank.   
    
“Hi, Mr. Malik. I’m sorry to er - interrupt,” the reporter grins. “Don’t know if you remember. I’m Cyndi, from Newport Daily?”   
    
“Of course, I remember,” Zayn says nervously, shaking Cyndi’s outstretched hand and mentally reminding himself that breathing is a thing that’s usually important.   
    
“I was wondering if I could have a quick word, but if you’re busy - “   
    
Zayn shakes his head quickly, interrupting her. “No, I’m not too busy. Fire away.”   
    
Cyndi asks pretty standard questions, mostly about what they’re working on at the moment and the merger with the Newport Group. Zayn tries to stay calm for the most part, breathing evenly when he can and trying to press down the panic that’s rising in his chest. Liam stays quiet, occasionally brushing their fingers together discreetly. It calms Zayn down just a little, but not enough to make everything feel alright.   
    
“Thank you for your time,” Cyndi says when she’s finally done. Zayn breathes a little easier until she gestures towards Liam and adds, “Um, if you don’t mind me intruding - and this is completely off the record, of course - I was just wondering who your uh, _friend_ here is?”   
    
Liam stiffens and Zayn’s pretty sure his heart stops beating. His mind goes absolutely blank and he can’t think of what to say because _he is so not ready for this_. Zayn knows he admitted to Louis that he would have to go public with this and that he told Liam that things would change soon, but he didn’t think it would be _this_ soon.   
    
Cyndi’s standing there expectantly, but the only thing Zayn can focus on is Liam who’s got his fists clenched at his side and is looking down at his shoes like he wants this moment to pass just as much Zayn. There’s a jolt in Zayn’s stomach because he realizes that Liam’s expecting him to make up some story, say anything but the truth. And maybe that is what he was going to do, but Liam looks so upset at this prospect that it makes Zayn want to kick himself and that is _not okay_.   
    
Zayn takes a deep breath and makes up his mind. Before he chickens out, Zayn takes a risk - a _real_ risk - and grabs Liam’s hand, intertwining their fingers. Liam looks at him with wide eyes that reveal millions of questions and Zayn just smiles, tries to say, _it’s okay, I’m ready_ , without using any actual words. He thinks Liam understands because he smiles so big and so wide that his eyes practically disappear and the blush rising in his cheeks makes Zayn think that, yeah, this is definitely the right choice.   
    
“This is my boyfriend, Liam. You can put that on the record by the way.”   
    
**Epilogue**   
    
“So, this is what these parties are like, huh?” Liam asks, looking around him a bit unimpressed. “Can’t say it seems all that interesting.”   
    
“I told you,” Zayn replies, shoving him playfully. “Why do you think I would always ditch?”   
    
“To see my beautiful face, of course,” Liam jokes, causing Zayn to roll his eyes and press a quick kiss to his mouth.   
    
“Of course.”   
    
The few weeks after the article Cyndi writes gets published, Zayn’s life goes out of control. As expected, there’s rumors flying everywhere about Zayn Malik and his _college boyfriend_ and he does many, many, many more interviews explaining his situation and Liam and just everything that Zayn’s never really wanted to share about his private life. The public eats it all up, but soon enough, another scandal is revealed, and everyone’s focus shifts.   
    
It seriously makes Zayn wonder what he was so worried about before.   
    
As everyone’s focus goes to a financial advisor who’s been stealing money from their clients, Zayn shifts his attention to his meeting with the Newport Group.   
    
He and Louis again spend hours on the floor of their living room, perfecting their presentation and working late into the night until they’re finally satisfied with everything. It’s not all in vain this time, thank God, because their presentation goes absolutely smoothly, and by the end of the week, Zayn’s signing the contract that will forever bind Malik Developments with the Newport Group.   
    
Liam’s been looking forward to the launch party for days now since it’s the first one he’ll be going to. Zayn tries to tell him it’s really nothing too exciting, but he refuses to listens. That is until they’re actually there.   
    
“I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t really this,” Liam says, playing with his tie.   
    
“Stop that,” Zayn scolds, pulling on the lapels of Liam’s jacket before adjusting his tie back into place. “You have to look presentable.”   
    
“I can’t breathe.”   
    
“Breathing is overrated anyway,” Louis says, coming up behind Liam and slinging an arm around his shoulders. “So, how is our little Liam enjoying his first party with Newport’s most elite?”   
    
“He’s bored,” Zayn answers before Liam can say anything. There are a few people staring at the three of them, Newpsies whispering excitedly to themselves as Zayn grabs Liam’s hands. Zayn finds that they’re really not that hard to ignore when Liam is there by his side.   
    
“So, I think we should skip. Harry just texted me and says there is a pizza with my name on it back at the apartment,” Louis suggests, wiggling his eyebrows like it’ll make him more convincing.   
    
“We can’t leave our own party,” Zayn frowns. “Pretty sure that’s not allowed.”   
    
“I’m _bored_ ,” Louis complains. “Liam’s bored too. Eleanor’s not here to keep me company and everyone here is _boring_.”   
    
“Do you want to go dance?” Zayn asks, turning to Liam and ignoring Louis’ scoff of indignation that his complaints have completely been disregarded. There’s a group of people forming a makeshift dance floor off the side as the DJ hired for the party puts on a slow song.   
    
“Of course,” Liam beams, dragging a laughing Zayn off to all the other couples.   
    
Zayn pretends he doesn’t hear Louis’ whining as he puts his arms around Liam, and he definitely pretends he doesn’t feel the staring eyes or hear the whispers around him. With Liam smiling down at him all crinkly-eyed and genuinely happy, Zayn thinks that it’s really not difficult at all to just breathe and enjoy the moment that they’re in.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks very much to [Zaf](http://louistumlinsons.tumblr.com) for editing and all my friends who have listened to me complain all these months. It's done. I'm done. Goodbye.


End file.
